2:03 left in the half....  

Posted

With 2 minutes and change left in the first half, the Giants had a 2nd and 17 deep in their own territory. They ran the ball, and with 2:03 seconds left the Cowboys had two options:

1) Let the clock run down to the 2 minute warning. It would then be 3rd and 20 with 2 minutes left and all 3 of their timeouts remaining.

2) Take a time out. It would then be 3rd and 20 with 2:03 left in the half and they would have 2 timeouts remaining.

CW says you go with option #2. "You try and squeeze in another play before the two minute warning." Huh? Why?

The only way the Giants are going to get a first down in a 3rd/20 situation is if they pass. But, teams don't pass late in those situations because you don't want to stop the clock for the other team (who will probably be getting the ball back anyway).

However, with only 3 seconds left before the two minute warning, there is no "danger" in stopping the clock for the Cowboys, because the clock IS going to be stopped AUTOMATICALLY. Even if a pass play were to take less than three seconds (unlikely), the clock would then be stopped on the next play, because of a change of possession.

So the Cowboys removed any risk for the Giants in terms of whether they should pass in that situation. So OF COURSE the Giants might as well take the chance. And what if they did get lucky and get a first down? Then it would be the Giants, not the Cowboys, who would be running the two minute drill.

Essentially then, the Cowboys would have used a timeout for the Giants benefit. That's why you wait until as long as possible before you decide whether to use your timeouts. With each play in a half, you gain more knowledge. You use the timeout after 3rd down instead of after 2nd down because it removes the chance that the offense gets a first down on 3rd down.

Why don't teams see this? Why did the Cowboys risk a Giants 1st down for a measly three seconds? Oh, because that's what the book says. And if you go against the book, you run the risk of being publicly shamed by the two yahoos in the booth (who, btw, questioned why the Giants would "risk" throwing a pass on third down...ha!)

And while I'm stewing over yet another example of poor time management, another CW hits me in the face. Teams are super-duper-scared to try and move the ball at the end of the half, when in fact it's the best time to spread the offense.

With 20 something seconds left, the Giants were going to run the ball out and go into the half down by 3. Yeah, why bother trying to score when there's a chance you can turn the ball over. Mind you, after a 15 yard taunting penalty (which in itself, is a sign that mankind is far from evolved), the Giants were near midfield and one play away from getting into field goal position.

Why do teams run out the clock at the end of the first half? Again, it's out of fear of being second guessed. If, by chance, a turnover DOES occur in that situation, and the other team scores, the coach will be blasted for the decision. And the goal in life isn't to make good decisions, it's to make popular decisions.

But think about it, the biggest risk for deep passing has been removed: field position is of no concern late in the half. A QB who KNOWS not to throw an INT, and doesn't have to worry about losing field position with a sack is still a very dangerous weapon. In some ways, he's even more dangerous because he can sit back a little longer waiting for the perfect play to present itself. And in a worst case scenario, you can still throw a hail mary / jump ball even if you can't reach the endzone. If your guy catches it at the 5, you call time out and kick a field goal. If the other team catches it and falls down, then they'll take a knee to end the half. As long as you set it up properly, and as long as your players are on board in terms of not taking unnecessary risks, there's NO reason to sit on the ball at the end of the half. Can you imagine a team in the middle of third quarter running out the clock b/c they are afraid to turn the ball over? Of course not, b/c professionals should be able to achieve the goal of "not turn the ball over" if they are really trying to accomplish JUST that.

Does uniform color have an impact on sports?  

Posted

The Giants are wearing red today for two reasons (according to chris berman).

1) For the college like atmosphere (they are asking fans to wear red too).

2) For the pyschological advantage of having Romo "see the rush coming".


Is it possible that a defense that has a Jersey that blends in with the field / surroundings might be better? If I'm looking downfield, I'll avoid red jerseys, but maybe a light green jersey doesn't catch my eye.

Nah.

what did people used to say before "it is what it is"  

Posted

the saying really annoys me, but when I hear someone say it, I can't think of an equally efficient alternative. what else would fit?

World Series, Game 1  

Posted

espn.com = 8 pm.

mlb.com = 8 pm.

fox sports = 8:23 pm.

actual first pitch = 8:37

Well, most of you already know about the Roger Clemens situation  

Posted

But since I can't ever tell this story again, b/c it kills me, here it goes for one last time.

After the perfect tailgate, we made our way into the stadium EARLY in order to catch Roger Clemens warming up in the bullpen. We also were able to sneak in a bag of those delicious Cheddar 'n BBQ Doritos so I was on top of the world.

Then, two guys slid into our row of bleachers, and were going to need to step over us. However, they suggested that we could just slide over into their seats. As we got up to slide, I started to talk to them and happened to mention *bam ball right in front of my face*

That's how quick it happened. I saw a ball in front of my face, i stuck my hand out, and it bounced out of my palm. Totally catchable. Mine to lose. And I lost it. The last ball that Roger Clemens will ever warm up with touched my hand and I dropped it. Did I not put a 2nd hand on it because I was holding the chips? Was I too distracted by those guys? Was I just too drunk? In my defense, the guy I went with didn't even put his hands up. But that didn't stop him from punching me for dropping the ball.

If I find out that ball is worth a lot of money, i'll be even more crushed.

Lazy Writing in "Stranger Than Fiction"  

Posted

I wasn't expecting Shakespeare when I watched this movie, but sometimes writers can be so insulting that I feel like they are pulling a joke on me. In STF, the main character starts to fall for a "rebel baker". I guess she's what Hollywood idiots think a "liberal" is....crazy tattoos, scatter brained, refusing to pay taxes, etc. Anyway, the main character asks her when she realized she wanted to be a baker and her answer was "college". That lead to this exchange:

Oh, what kind of college, cullinary?

No, actually, I went to Harvard Law.

Oh, I didn't know, I'm sorry... I

Don't worry, it's alright. Anyway, I barely got into law school, and then...


She then proceeds to tell this "touching" story about how she kept baking for her study groups and everyone loved the cookies and it made her happy to make other people happy, but her grades suffered.

Do you see the problem with this? Nobody would call Havard LAW "college". It's not a college. It's a lawschool. But if she didn't answer "college", he couldn't have confused it with a culinary school.

"when did you know you want to be a baker?"
"oh, in law school"
"hmm, interesting. Go on."

doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it? Plus, it also has to drive home the point that she was smart enough to do anything, but chose to be a baker. That's why the character has to apologize for assuming it was culinary school, as though that's something to be ashamed of. I mean, she wound up a baker! culinary school would be the ideal school to go to if that was your eventual goal.

and now that i think about it, since the original question was "when did you know?" the main character is an idiot for assuming college meant culinary school. If you go to culinary school, you probably ALREADY know that you want to be some type of chef.

Man, that one line of dialog really rubbed me the wrong way.

Captain Clutch, isn't.  

Posted


Average/On Base/Slugging
2007 ALDS .176/.176/.176 [0 runs, 1 rbi in 4 games]
2004 ALCS .200/.333/.233 [5 runs, 5 rbi in 7 games]
2003 ALCS .233/.281/.400 [3 runs, 2 rbi in 7 games]
2001 WS .148/.179/.259 [3 runs, 1 rbi in 7 games]
2001 ALCS .118/.200/.118 [0 runs, 2 rbi in 5 games]
2000 ALDS .211/.318/.211 [1 runs, 2 rbi in 5 games]
1998 ALCS .200/.259/.320 [3 runs, 2 rbi in 6 games]
1998 ALDS .111/.273/.111 [0 runs, 0 rbi in 3 games]
1996 WS .250/.400/.250 [5 runs, 1 rbi in 6 games]

I went to see Arcade Fire, and a KISS concert broke out  

Posted

I go to a concert for the music. Not for staged theatrics. If I cared about the latter, I would go see a Broadway show. It's sad that some people get suckered into gimmicky stunts when it comes to music.

Arcade Fire used to play in churches and other tiny venues. I knew Randall's Island wasn't going to be ideal location to catch them, but I had to see them live.

What a mistake. Pure speculation on my part, but it seemed like they were recording this performance for some type of DVD release. There was a bunch of glowing stuff and videos and whatnot that only distracted from the music. The two guys on the side (drummers?) threw a drum around the stage and tried to hit it. Lame. Then, during Rebellion, the same guy did this:





I'm no musical expert, but I think he wasn't in rhythm with the rest of the band.

So Dan Perry made a list of the top 10
"playoff/postseason" games ever.

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/7289732?forum_key=StoryComments&topic_key=7289732&page_no=2



Let's
ignore the fact that 50% of the top 10 falls within the last 21
years. Chalk that up to humans having weak minds and thinking what
they personally experience is more important/relevant. I just like
to draw attention to the fact that last night's game (which was what sparked
this article) wasn't even a playoff or postseason game. It's a
regular season game. A "play in" for you simpletons.




beef beef beef, beef baloney.  

Posted

Now that I'm addicted to finding deals, I came across an amazing one with Oberto's jerky and other meat products. 30 dollar cases for 5 bucks.

I was hoping that between myself, Poppa, and a third friend, we could spend 75 bucks to get the free shipping. That third friend wound up selling me out and buying 75 dollars worth on his own. I'd be upset, but he's going to be dead from beef consumption in 3 weeks, so I forgive him.

Anyway, Poppa got our shipment tonight. It's so heavy that we need to meet up before work so that I can help him carry some of it to our coworkers (who got in on the deal).

Pounds and pounds of dried beef!

it's 2 am on a friday night (saturday morning)  

Posted

and i can't sleep b/c i've scared myself by playing resident evil IV. is this as low as it gets?

An Arcade Fire by any other name....  

Posted

I've never seen a
band's name mislabeled as often as Arcade Fire's. For the record, it
is NOT The Arcade Fire. It's mislabeled everywhere, including on
Sirius Radio. That one hurt. Then again, I happened to go to
my inactive myspace page and saw that even I have it wrong in my
profile. But I'm going to go ahead and blame the other sources for
my own mistake.

Wii points and fan boys.  

Posted



How much
cooler would the wii be if it also gave you access to a vast catalog of
oldschool NES, SNES, and n64 games for free? There would be
little reason for Nintendo to not offer such things for free (or perhaps a
nominal cost) because there is no longer a market for these games.
However, Nintendo realizes that among their target market is a rogue group of
idiots called fan boys. They will buy anything that Nintendo has to
offer b/c it rulez! And being the cool kid on the block who can
play Ninja Gaiden on their wii is too tempting to pass up. So
they'll pay the 6 dollars (or whatever it is) to download a game that they
already have on the NES and on their computer emulator as well.
Just on that slim chance that they may want to spend a half hour playing it at
some point.





Nintendo
clearly doesn't respect this group of idiots, but why should they?
fanboys clearly don't respect themselves. Now, they may argue that
it's only 20 bucks, or whatever the cost is. But you can extend the
economists theory of "no such thing as a free lunch" to "there's
no such thing as only 20 bucks". Because if you've earmarked
that 20 bucks as expendable, the next step is to realize that there is a choice
in HOW you spend it. And wasting it on a game that you already own,
and will never play, is embarrassing. And while it's YOUR choice,
it still bothers me because it's affecting the market. The Virtual
Arcade (is that what nintendo is calling it?) is clearly something that should
be (near) free. And it would be, if certain people could exhibit a little
control.



Michael Kay is SHOCKED that playoff teams don't play that well in September.  

Posted

I only half-listen
to kay, so the details are going to be off, but he was apparently going through
a bunch of "stats" that he found perplexing. One of them was that in
the past x years, the world series winners actually had a worse record in
September than they did vs. the rest of the regular season. In other
words, these teams were not "hot" going into October.


Ignoring the bigger
and more complex argument about whether momentum exists, let's focus on Kay's
confusion. Not only am I not surprised that this fact is true,
but rather, I would have assumed it. It's very rare that a team has
to fight until the last day (or week, even) to make the playoffs. And what
do they do when they've qualified for the postseason? That's right,
they start resting their stars.

Perhaps silence is more polite  

Posted

I once read of a professional tennis player who was known for his politeness and etiquette. A true gentleman's gentleman. There was an anecdote about how when he played, it was custom for a player to intentionally hit a ball out of bounds if he felt he was the recipient of a bad call in his favor. Sort of evening things up, if you will. People were always confused as to why this player didn't adhere to such a standard. They thought it was out of character for him to not be polite.

Finally, one day he was asked about it. His response was that it was actually impolite to make such a gesture because it drew attention to the ref's bad call.

I bring this up because I'm starting to wonder if polite chit-chat is actually impolite. There's a secretary/receptionist that I'm forced to pass about 3 times a week. She's on a floor and in a location where she clearly has to "greet" people many many times a day.

Conventional wisdom would say that it's impolite to just walk by her without acknowledging her existence. However, I imagine it would be quite tedious to go through the "good morning. how are you. I'm fine, thanks for asking" routine 30 times a day. The poor woman has to always look up from whatever work she is doing to put on the big fake smile. This woman doesn't care how we are doing, and I doubt she wants to share how she is doing. She's already aware of the weather that's outside, or how quickly the holidays are coming up, or that it's Monday, or almost Friday. Leave her alone already!

note: I still say hello to her and do the boring chit chat, but that's only because I'm a horribly selfish and inconsiderate person.

Michael Kay, meet Bobby Abreu  

Posted

Last night... Kay: "Well, there are a lot of ways the Yankees could go. Jeter could try to steal 2nd, Abreu could swing away, or, Bobby's a #3 hitter, so he's probably not a good bunter, but he could try to bunt here."

In Kay's defense, Bobby Abreu is a rookie who he has never seen play b/c Kay doesn't normally do Yankee games, but you would think that there would be some type of pregame notes that Kay could look through to see if Abreu is a good bunter. Unfortunately, he must not have gotten the pregame notes that say that Abreu is NOT a good bunter.

I was reverse-mugged this week on the Lightrail  

Posted

Fact: I feel very uncomfortable accepting gifts of any kind. Deep down, i "know" the gifter resents me on some level for accepting the gifts.

Fact: I feel socially awkward all the time, but particularly around crowds of people I don't know.

There's always a moment before I choose to help someone where I wonder if it's going to lead to an awkward situation if I wouldn't just be better keeping my head down and ignoring the person. But for whatever reason it seems like I'm always volunteering my services. So it should be of no surprise that when I overheard someone on the lightrail this week asking directions about NYC, I reluctantly went over to contribute my insignificant sliver of knowledge.

As I took my headphones out of my ear, the woman who had shaken her head no to the questioner piped up "see, there's someone going to the city." Then simultaneously [wow, i spelled that word correctly on the first shot!] as I was asking "where do you need to go?" the questioner started handing me her Metro Card.

-- Here you go

-- Huh? I thought you were asking for directions

-- Oh no, i was offering her this metro card because I don't need it anymore.

--- oh, ok.

--- but here, you take it, she says she doesn't need it. There's about 10 or so dollars on it.

--- Uh, sure [mine had run out, so this was actually going to save me some trouble as I had to meet up w/ friends later in the week up on the east side. so i started fumbling through my wallet to get a 10. mind you, i don't carry a bag anymore so i was holding my eye glass container, cell phone and headphones all in my hands]

--- No, just take it, I don't want money for it. I don't need it anymore.

--- No I can't accept that for free, here just take the money.

--- No, take it.

--- Please, take the money.

[she puts the card in my hand. Now everyone is looking. Of course, I have to assume that everyone is staring at me thinking i'm the selfish person who ran up to her when i heard she was giving away a free card].

I thank her, but now I feel so uncomfortably awkward. We still have three more stops and I don't know how many times I'm supposed to thank her. At some point, we have to go back to standing next to each other and not talk. I'm sweating from the awkwardness.

I'm never talking to anyone ever again.


The 2007 fantasy baseball rant.  

Posted

Even though this apparently had absolutely no affect on anyone's decision, I still think it was convincing. Where did I go wrong?



  1. I don’t think Clark and Team C have a secret
    agreement to make Clark’s team better.
  2. Nor do I think Clark acted
    with malice or thinks that he was doing anything wrong with his trades.




However….





  1. I think Team C is very inexperienced at fantasy
    baseball, and thus more vulnerable to manipulation.
  2. I think Team C has shown great apathy towards the
    league throughout the season, evidenced by their lack of waiver wire
    pickups (despite having the worst lineup in the league AND having waiver
    wire priority throughout the entire season), ignoring trade offers,
    failing to fix their rosters numerous weeks, and generally “going dead”
    for weeks at a time.
  3. I think Clark has an unfair
    advantage being Team C’s mentor.
    This goes above and beyond the general advantage that the inner
    circle of Prudential employees has as compared to the outsiders of the
    league.
  4. Past evidence has shown that Clark
    acts with a “win at all costs” mentality.
  5. Clark is aware of Team C’s
    poor fantasy skills, and used it to his advantage to the detriment of the
    intregrity of the league.




For those of you voting against
collusion because you have the limited definition of “secret agreement between
two teams” (which again, I don’t think Clark and C had), here are some examples
of trades that wouldn’t fall under that definition, but should still be
reversed.





A)
Mets and Yankees are neck and neck for first
place. The Redsox, who are stuck in the
middle of the pack, offer the Yankees a ridiculous package because they dislike
the Mets. The Yankees accept the trade
offer, without any secret agreement.



B) Mets and Yankees are neck and neck for first
place. The Mets have stolen bases
completely locked up and are guaranteed a 10.
Yankees have a 9, while the last place team has a 8. Mets, in the last week of the season, waive
Reyes, knowing that the last place team will pick him up, and pass the Yankees
in SBs, thereby giving the Mets the championship.



C) Redsox can’t stand the rest of the gms,
decides to quit the league, and waives all their players in the first week of
the season. All of the bottom teams get
3 very good players each.



Those
all seem obvious. Now here are two more
that are inching closer to what we have here.





D)
I invite my younger cousin to join the league even though I know he is really shy
and won’t talk trades with people he doesn’t know. Furthermore, I know he’s a big Yankee fan AND
I know that given enough time and opportunity, I could talk him into any trade
and convince him it’s in my best interest.
I then go ahead and make three trades with him, all of which grossly
favor me. He thinks he’s helping his team, but he’s not (by the vast majority’s
opinion).



E)
The Yankees haven’t paid attention to their team all season, and seem content
with wallowing in last place. It’s only
after the Mets, who have direct access to the Yankees, tell them “hey, you
could help your team if you do this”, that the Yankees decided to act, in that
specific act, and only for that narrow window of time. Yankees then go back to not caring about
their team. So, for that small 1 hour
window, they’ve acted in their best interests (in their opinion), but their
inaction during the rest of the season is clearly not in their best interests.







We have three trades in one season
and all are very lopsided. The team
losing all three times is inexperienced and apathetic towards the league. The team winning in all three trades has a
history of being overly aggressive in his tactics to improve his team,
particularly with inexperienced/weaker GMs and/or GM’s that are not in the
inner circle of friends/coworkers.





Here are some anecdotal examples of
things that I have experienced while being in the league. I believe 2004 was my first season in this
league. I definitely felt that Clark (and
others, to a lesser degree) attempted to take advantage of me in my first
season (I guess thinking I didn’t know what I was doing). I tried to be as diplomatic as possible when
I received offers, but they were always extremely lopsided. On the day of my last Law
School
final, I was drunk at a bbq
when I received a phone call from Clark. I told him that I was in no condition to
discuss trades [Tommy, if you are in fact reading this, drinking is wrong. It’s no fun and only leads to problems], but
that did not end the conversation. He
continued to toss names around until I had to more forcefully tell him that I
had to go. It’s possible that I
remember that conversation more harshly than how it actually went down, but it
definitely gave me an uneasy feeling that this league didn’t attempt to make
“win-win” trades.





In 2005 we had agreed upon a trade
with Perlman for Jeter (pending his partner’s approval, which Perlman felt very
confident in obtaining). I believe this
was on a weekend. The next day,
expecting to see confirmation of the trade on the website, I instead see that
Perlman was trading Jeter to Clark. Perlman would later claim a combination of
his partner not liking Harden (even though they had attempted to trade for
Harden the entire season) and that Clark just happened
to come up with a better offer. Time and
time again, people outside of the inner circle get frozen out of trade
talks. It goes beyond the “well, it’s
convenient to discuss trades with someone who works down the hall from
me”. I think it may border on the
example way above about how one team roots for another to win. Every single season there has been at least
one or two instances where I will receive a couple of trade offers from
multiple GMs all for the same guy in the span of a day. It’s as though there is a group discussion
that takes places where they decide, “hey, that Dunn guy is pretty good, and I
bet dennis doesn’t value him as much as he should.” Of course I would have to be paranoid to believe
it’s a blunt as that, but something is definitely going on. It probably happened 5 times in the first
three years (and has happened to other Gms as well).





2006 was when my opinion of Clark
as a ruthless GM was solidified. Before
the draft, I traded 4 different slots with Perlman in order to get the 3rd
pick of the draft. The goal was to
draft Johan Santana. Now, even though
he’s clearly one of “our guys”, I don’t think it was 100% obvious to the rest
of the league that that’s why we were trading up (I’ve looked back at preseason
2006 draft rankings, and Johan was around 7.
There was no clear #3). Of
course, as a professional curtsey to Perlman (in order to help him better
prepare for his first two rounds), I told him who we’d be taking with the
pick. This is something I’ve always
tried to do with teams to my right because it’s nice to have an idea as to how
the first two rounds are going to go (In fact, I did just that for Mudville
this year, b/c they had the swing picks at 10/11).





When we get to the draft, Clark
immediately comes up to us and tells us we wasted our time trading up b/c he’s
taking Johan. (This week, I learned for
the first time that this was a “joke” according to Clark). Well, it was a cruel joke with no discernable
punch line if you ask me. He offers to
trade us our first two picks for his first two picks. My partner and I now spend the entire pre
draft time 1) trying to figure out if he’s bluffing, 2) reevaluating how the
first three rounds are going to go if we have to take Arod with the 3rd
pick, 3) feeling really shitty for wasting our other draft picks to trade up
and 4) general panic. The difference
between going with a pitcher and a hitter in the first round had such a trickle
down affect that our sheets and draftboard became completely chaotic. Since we already knew that Clark
had a reputation for inappropriate behavior, we decided to just assume he was
bluffing. He was of course. After I overheard him him bragging to
another GM during the lunch break about how he “almost was able to get us to
trade”, I knew that that would be my last season* [or so I thought]. Not only did another GM lie to us for the
sole purpose of trying to take advantage of us (for only one slot up in the 2nd
round!) but it seemed that other GMs had all discussed this beforehand. Again, the inner circle knew that Johan was
the guy we wanted, and this little ruge (or “joke” as clark
likes to defend it as) was a known tactic going into the draft. But, I will say this in Clark’s
defense...I don’t believe he thinks this type of behavior is wrong. Just like I believe him when he says that he
doesn’t think his trades with Team C are inappropriate.





Wow, what happened to my goal of
writing everything in short bullet points?





Anyway, I’m just surprised that
there have been several comments about how “good of a gm” clark
is for constantly throwing numerous trades out there and how these three trades
with team C were just clark being a good GM. Yes, there’s going to be trades where it
seems like one team got the better end of the deal. But in this case, these trades are grossly
lopsided, involved a grossly incompetent team (who has some degree of
protégé/mentor relationship with the other team), and are shifting the
competitive balance of the league. This
is a team in dead last trading over and over again with a team at the top of
the standings (of course they are at the top in part b/c of the trades they
have made with team C).





Victor Martinez is robbed away from
team C under the guise of an upgrade at 3rd (even though I think team C drafted Zimmerman before
Beltre anyway {and the trade occurred very early in the season, when it’s
really hard to ignore pre-draft expectations based on a small sample space of
games). Then, team C trades away Corey
Patterson (who now has 20 sbs) and FAILS TO EVEN PLAY THE GUY THEY TRADED
FOR. Now, without Patterson, they need
speed, so they trade away one of their last remaining quality players for
Johnny Damon.





Here’s a rare example of when there
almost is a duty to shop around a player.
I think we can all agree that Jones is more valuable to the league than Damon, but that in
C’s specific case, it’s possible that Damon might be more valuable. In this rare case, I think the team owes a
general duty to the league to give everyone a chance to get in on the
firesale. A trade of equal talent (or
close to equal talent) is fine, but Jones is being handed over at 50 cents on
the dollar to a team near the top of the league. It’s unfair to a team like Mo who’s actually
in contention. He should at least be
given a chance to get in on the auction.
It’s in team c’s best interest to get as much for jones as they can, and
it keeps the league at an even playing field.
If Mo knew he was available, I’m sure he would have tried to make an
offer, as would any of us. But again,
how are we to know that when team C goes a month without making a move?





Look again at the players who have
been traded between C and G. If there
was collusion (as in a secret hand shake), would the players involved look much
different? These trades are all so
lopsided that it effectively is that secret handshake. You just have to look a little harder because
it occurred three different times.





Finally, I’d like to address and
apologize the issue of the name calling.
I was really wrong for using words like retarded, and even collusion,
because they were done out anger and were mean spirited. I apologize to anyone and everyone that I
offended. It was the culmination of four
years of what I perceive to be questionable behavior and tactics. After already being on edge from insane ours
at work, I come home to see that yet another (!) lopsided trade has occurred
between G and C, and then after someone questions it jokingly (I caught that it
was tongue in cheek), I see G (Clark) pull the traditional “new comers league
mantra” of “stop whining”. Every time
there has been a disagreement in this league, you get a contingent of about 3
people who rattle off the “stop whining” “be quiet” and “it’s just a game, stop
taking it so seriously”. Over and over
and over again. And to be honest,
there’s no name can be worse to call someone (in my opinion) than a whiner. It’s degrading. It’s saying that because you are in the
minority, your voice is of no consequence.
It’s a bullying tactic and it occurs over and over again in this
league. If anyone else archives their
emails like I do, go back and look at some past arguments, and see who starts
in with the name calling first. What I
said was wrong, but it was done out of pure exhaustion by what goes on, and
what’s allowed to go on, in this league.





In terms of the “fun” of the
league, there are three main reasons why I play fantasy baseball. In no particular order, I like competition
(especially intellectual), it forces me to pay more attention to baseball, a
sport I love, and it gives me an excuse to bullshit more with my friends (95%
with my partner, and 5% for some of the guys I’ve met in this league). These trades this season have really cut
away at all three of those things.
There’s no sense of competition or satisfaction when teams become
superpowers by exploiting other teams.
It doesn’t feel right that a team who barely tries and is really bad has
such a huge impact on the rest of the league.
If I was in second, I would feel robbed and if was the team who won that
way, I would feel unfulfilled. I stand
by my statement that if I was offered Howard for Loney, I would reject it. It’s not winning in and of itself that is
satisfying, it’s how you get there.
There can be no satisfaction this season.





The rules state that collusion is
cause for expulsion. Of course,
collusion is never defined. My vote is
that all three trades between G and C are undone (not that hard since they
mainly involve the same position), team C is frozen for the rest of the year
(we waive the 50 dollar penalty for the inevitable last place finish), and team
G is allowed to continue to keep playing (with their original players).






I realized my problem with "Big Love"  

Posted

I watch big love. It's almost on the level of "appointment television" for me at this point (or at least as close as a show can become now that I have a DVR). However, i don't think i like it, per se. I'm curious, for sure, but I'm just not connecting with it. And i think I finally figured out the problem. It's no longer a show about religious people....Maybe it never was. Originally, my problems with the show was that I couldn't relate to any of the characters. But, there was a morbid curiousity to see how religious people live. In the second season, these people have lost all sense of a religious faith, though.

One by one, i cross off the characters with a dismissive "Ok, he doesn't REALLY believe in God". Aby (i'm guessing at names here), can't really believe in God, b/c he faked having a 'testimony' with his father's hat. That was a manipulative power struggle, which i found interesting on the surface, but ultimately confirms that Aby can't really believe in God.

Then, Nicky steals from the compound. Stealing is wrong, and goes against God. Sure, people have an amazing ability to rationalize their own bad behavior, but the 10 comandments are pretty clear on this issue (hmm, do they even believe in the 10 comandments? i have to assume so). Barb seems to use religion as a synonym* with morality; she believes in religion in so much as it is the foundation to teach her kids right from wrong. *[5 minutes to get a spelling close enough for the computer to suggest the correct spelling. FIVE MINUTES].

I want to watch a show where an otherwise normal person actually believes that Abby is having a conversation with a hat. THAT'S interesting. Instead, Big Love is just a morally confused family trying to justify their own suspect behavior. Since we've already seen that done to perfection with the Sopranos, Big Love is redundant. I'll still watch, because my life is that boring, but I'm not pleased.

Last night's yankee game confirmed that I'm alone in the universe  

Posted

It's tough to feel connected to society when it's obvious that human beings are the most selfish species ever created. An animal that kills, kills to survive. A human's greed is out of pure ego, though.

The yankees and tigers play three times in the next day (saturday night, sunday during the day, and monday night. This will be the last time that the Yankees are in detroit, so they HAVE to finish off the series.

The obvious solution is to play a double header on saturday. If MLB wants to be just slightly greedy, they can still make it a day-night double header and charge two admissions. But "slight greed" isn't enough to make it in the corporate world. Having such a game would "interfere" with Fox's saturday "window" of exclusive broadcasts. Mind you, that window SHOULD be 4 pm, when they actually broadcast, but they extend it all the way to 1 pm. As though news corp. itself would go out of business if it had to compete with a random 1 pm game on a late august saturday. So, saturday is out, but is sunday in? No, because ESPN owns sunday nights. And since Monday is too dangerous (it's a travel day), the only alternative is to play the game at 11 pm on a friday night.

I'll never be able to hate Michael Kay the same way, b/c he was really upset about how friday night's game hurt the fans. Good for him. Even I can't imagine waiting around 4 hours for a game. What a disgusting display of greed and short-sightedness. There is nothing left in American society that is pure anymore. Everything has dollar signs wrapped around it.

Let's go China!

uh, why did the mets' fans just cheer?  

Posted

i realize this isn't the most earth shattering of posts (and probably not worthy of a 'return' to blogging), but so it goes...

bases loaded, 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth. alou hits the most routine of routine grounders to 2nd, and the fans go nuts as though it's going to win the game. I'm embarrassed for fans when they go nuts on a fly ball, so you can imagine how much i cringed when it happened on a ground ball. are mets' fans that stupid?

yes.

I really like televisionwithoutpity, but people who post that should be dragged out into the street and shot. First, they aren't watching it a "few more times", "a couple of times", etc. Nobody has that kind of time. Believe me, I should know. And, even if you WERE going to watch it that many times, why are you rushing to the computer to type that? just watch it again!

this all stems from my viewing of John From Cinncinati, which may be the worst television show in the history of time. After watching last week's episode, i rushed to the computer to figure out what just happened. What i got was three pages of "wow, that was incredible. i don't get it, but i'll need to watch it a few more times".

There's a difference between deep and confusing. At the end of the day, television (or any kind of art) is a form of communication. If the audience doesn't get the message, then you are doing a poor job in creating the art.

This show is becoming like a fanboy type of thing where the only people who are enjoying it are the ones who have the decoder ring and think they are "special" for putting the effort into translating.

The right camera angle will show you everything in a baseball game  

Posted

I love how people claim that Jeter is a good defensive player even though it's impossible to watch defense with the current camera angles on TV. But, that's not the point of this entry. They had a pulled out angle just now to show Melky on third and Jeter on 1st (while Arod was up). A piece of wax paper was blowing around third base. The third baseman picked it up, and crumpled it. I was so curious to see what he would do with it. I was SHOCKED to see him stick it in melky's back pocket and then pat him on the butt. "is that the norm for garbage? is it assumed that the runners will just hold onto it?" Then melky took it out of his pocket and handed it Bowa (the third base coach). that made more sense, but why did the fielder not just give it to him directly? He seems like the most logical choice to hold garbage.

Also, apologies for not keeping my 30 in 30 promise.

#12 What's the argument against instant replay again?  

Posted

it's gotta be something less retarded than "the game hasn't had it before", right? or the "what's next, robots calling balls and strikes, and even playing the game too?" argument.

Do people enjoy the randomness of bad calls? I wonder if a part of it has to do with the fact that the game is "fixed" in the sense that star players get better treatment (b/c stars sell tickets). If the game was objectively called, perhaps there would be more parity in the league.

#11 Michael Kay quote  

Posted

"he elected to go with his closer here in the 9th; even though it's possible for the visiting team to have a save situation in extra innings. Now, if it goes extra innings, his options will be limited".

This was said in bottom of the 9th inning of a tied game....against the yankees....with abreu, arod, and posada up.

#10 Two ice cream trucks on the same block!!  

Posted

I've always been fascinated with ice cream trucks (and no, not just because they contain ice cream). First and foremost, I always wondered how the drivers don't go insane with that music playing over and over again. Isn't that how we tried to "smoke out" Noreaga back in the day? Whenever I walk by a truck playing that song, i'm involuntarily humming it within seconds. I imagine 4 consecutive hours of that would kill me.

Less interestingly, I've always had doubts about how the industry could turn a profit. Assuming the driver makes minimum wage, the first couple of ice creams sold (each hour) go to his salary. Then you have to obviously pay for the supplies. Driving at 5 miles an hour has to use a lot of gas, especially when you are a glorified freezer.

And how big is your customer base? I can't imagine anyone other than children, who are already outside, ever purchasing an ice cream. Is that a big enough market? What are these trucks used for in the winter?

Anyway, all of my questions are now pushed aside because i saw TWO ice cream trucks on the same street last night. About two blocks away. I could hear BOTH songs being played.

What's going on here? Hopefully, one was just a decoy for selling drugs.

If you think it's a manager's goal to try and win games, you would be wrong. His goal, just like every other employee's goal, is to not lose his job. Managers make decisions based on the path of least Resistance. They'll all trade a couple of extra losses for a lack of controversy in their decision making.

After a rain delay and 80 something pitches, Moose started the 6th inning. That's right about the time where Moose gets fatigued at this point in his career. Torre had to decide whether he should keep him in or go to his bulpen early.

Pulling Moose before he blows it leaves Torre open to speculation and criticism. Pulling him after Moose blows it puts the blame on the pitcher. If Torre really wanted to win the game, he would have probably pulled moose. But that's not his goal. His goal is to give the appearance that he's helping his team win. So that he can keep his job.

#8 Counter Programming at its best  

Posted

When I got home from work last night, the last 15 minutes of "the break up" was on. I was very excited b/c i had heard that the reason the movie failed do well in the theaters was due, in part, to the fact that it has a "sad" ending. I wanted to see if a big studio had the guts to actually have such an ending.

Color me disappointed (in myself) for the ending. I should have known that an American audience couldn't handle an ending like the UK's Office. Granted, they are technically "broken up" at the end, but there's no indication that the characters are dating anyone else, or even upset with each other. There's even a hint that maybe something could rekindle after they bump into each other on the street.

Blech.

After being angered by this, I was energized enough to watch Studio 60. Separate rant on that later.

When I turned the DVR off and went back to live tv, Mr. and Mrs. Smith was on. I left it on while doing other stuff, but I couldn't help get a kick out of the idea that, just maybe, jennifer anniston watched this movie at one point and became really upset. So then I had to watch it as though i was looking through her eyes...."oh yeah, i bet she felt really awkward after that scene" and such and such.

Then i realized the brilliance that is hbo. They played these two movies back to back! Bravo, Hbo, bravo!

#7 Does it pay to stay an extra year in college?  

Posted

I might be wrong, but I thought the end goal of going to college is to secure yourself a good job. Conventional wisdom sort of looks down on athletes who decide to leave school early to join the pros. Once again, CW is illogical and wrong.

The cliched cautionary tale is the athlete who leaves school early, gets injured, and then doesn't have an education to fall back on. If he had stayed in school, he would be more equipped to transition into the regular work force.

However, there are two types of college athletes: 1) athletes who are using college as the minor leagues of pro ball, and 2) athletes who would otherwise be smart and ambitious enough to get a college education even if they didn't play sports.

For the first type of athlete, it makes perfect sense to grab the money while you can. If there's a pro team who thinks you are ready, you'd be wasting your time in college. If the profession was ANY other field, the student would be laughed at for preferring what is essentially an unpaid internship over a paying job. If Bill Gates offered a computer programming junior a sweet gig, but with the caveat that he would have to start immediately, the kid would be an idiot to stay in school.

Let's say this athlete who decides to go pro gets hurt in his first year and is out of the league 6 months later. He'll have already made enough money to pay for a scholarship-less tuition to any college he can get in. And if he's not smart enough for a school to want him (sans athletic eligibility), then college would have been wasted on him in the first place. College degrees, on their own, are overated.

Now, for the second type of college athlete (the one who could actually succeed in a college classroom), college will be there if/when his pro career ends. There are plenty of people who go to college after the traditional 18-22 years. Nobody looks down on them. So what if this athlete/student is a couple of years behind? He will have made more than enough money to justify the slow start.

This is all a preface to my disagreement with Roy Hibbert's decision to come back for another year at Georgetown. The feeling is that right now he would be a 10th pick in the draft, but if he waits a year, he could move up to #2. First, this assumes that he'll actually improve on his game/success, which is always risky. But, it seems like he seems to be failing to realize that he's giving up a year of his earning potential.

[note: these numbers are off, because i could only find data for the 2005/2006 season which was the last season that rookies were locked in for 3 years (with a 4th year option) instead of the current 2 years (with a 3rd and 4th year options)]

If Roy Hibbert gets selected with the 10th pick, he will make 1.6 million in 2007 and 1.7 million in 2008.

If he waits a year and becomes the 2nd pick of hte 2008 draft, he will make 3.2 in his first year, and 3.5 in his second year.

However, what people forget to account for is that he'd be making 0 in 2007.

So, by the end of the 2008 season, the #10 pick Hibbert will have made 1.6+1.7 million (3.3) while the #2 Hibbert will have made only 3.2.

Of course, in 2009, the team's option on #10 hibbert will only be a raise from his 2008 season. So the #2 Hibbert will be making a lot more money than his counterpart. and the same will be true in 2010 (again assuming that both teams pick up the option)

The numbers get muddled, obviously, and even become more speculative when you account for endorsement deals and the like. Perhaps being the face of a championship winning georgetown would make Hibbert more marketable. However, the numbers are closer than people believe. and more importantly, the first million a person makes is the most important, because it becomes life altering. The difference between 7 and 5 million is negligible compared to 1 million and 0 (if he busts his knee and never makes it to the nba)

shoot, there was another point i wanted to make, but i completely lost my train of thought. that's actually a bit scary. Oh yeah...

Finally, I flat out dont' understand Hibbert's theory that being a middle first round pick would mean he would ride the bench but being a top pick means that he would be able to play immediately. I guess there is something to be said about getting more opportunities on a weaker team. However (and this is without any evidence), I feel like early picks are based on "take the best player available" and later picks are need picks.

More importantly, though, is that a player can definitely develop more in one season of NBA practices than in a 30 game college season. In the NBA, a player can give his entire focus to basketball. Even if he's not playing in "games", the practices can develop his skills.

Rookies tend to hit walls midway through the nba season becasue they aren't used to the grueling schedules. Plus, dominating in the college scene probably doesn't really develop your skills. You need to play against the best competition.

blah blah blah. this is too long. Short version: forget college and get drafted.

#6 If by weakness, Kay meant strength...  

Posted

then his comment was very strong.

"Taverez will eventually move back to the bullpen, where he can help one of Boston's weaknesses."

[paraphrased].

So Boston has a weak bullpen? That didn't feel right, so I looked it up. Turns out their bullpen is 6-1 with 15 saves and the 2nd lowest ERA in the majors (and first in the AL). Kay works for the New York Yankees. His job is to inform tv viewers of the game. The Boston Redsox are the Yankees main rivals. Kay should know whether the redsox have a good or bad bullpen. It's not rocket science.

#5 Dear Sutcliffe: Correlation does not equal causation.  

Posted

if there was something that was the antithesis of a "PS", i.e. a message that comes before the script, it would be "shut up!". That trumps all. Rick Sutcliffe needs to shut up during espn broadcasts.

However, the crux of this complaint is that Sutcliffe can be added to list of billions who fail to understand that correlation does not equal causation.

Here's what we know: Arod hit a home run in the first inning against Tim Wakefield. Johnny Damon was on second base when Arod hit the home run. Those two facts are correlated. They both existed at the same time.

Sutcliffe takes that extra step that all good and retarded color commentators make and assess the credit of the home run to Damon being on second base. Damon caused Wakefield to throw a pitch that would automatically be a home run. And what proof does Sutcliffe provide to defend this theory?

Damon is "fast". Damon stole second base. Wakefield looked at Damon. Wakefield even lifted his leg as though he were about to pitch but then turned towards second. He didn't go so far as to actually throw to second, but that must have been because his brain was so overloaded with all the information of DAMON IS ON SECOND BASE.

We can also infer that Sutcliffe wants to credit Damon for the homer, because of two reasons. 1) Even though chicks may dig the long ball, "scrappy" baseball players from "the good old days" hate the home run and LOVE small ball. And there's nothing smaller than a guy standing on second base taking an extra half of step lead.

and 2) it's arod. And arod is a bad person, who occasionally does good things, but only with the help of his teamates.

If someone wanted to do an actual statistical analysis of whether or not fast baserunners "disrupt" a pitcher, I think that would be a wonderfully interesting study. Oh wait, it's already been done, and the evidence shows that it's actually hitters, not pitchers who suffer slightly. This makes logical sense b/c a hitter is going to actually see the runner in his peripheral vision when he should be focusing on the ball, and he has the added pressure of not swinging through a pitch, or hitting a line drive, etc.

Of course, evidence or logic is no match for good old, "get your uniform dirty" small ball. So it's Damon who deserves the credit.

However, even if you take the incorrect theory as true, it's even less true (can something be more than "wrong"?) in Wakefield's case.

Tim Wakefield has been around forever. I'm pretty sure he was still with Pittsburgh when they were a playoff team. Yes, that Pirates team. Just think about how long ago you have to go back for the pirates to be a playoff team. Wakefield has won a world series with the Redsox. He's been in some of the most intense playoff battles in the past decade. He was on the mound when "Aaron F'n Boone" got lucky.

Tim Wakefield has been a Starter, a Closer, a Middle reliever, and back again. And oh yeah, he throws a knuckleball. Now i realize that Sutcliffe has never pitched a baseball in his life, but the thing with a knucleball is that you don't really throw it like a normal pitch. You don't have a million little things to worry about in your delivery. You just press the tips of your fingers on the ball and let it fly.

A knuckle ball pitcher really doesn't have "control" of the ball like a regular pitcher. You aren't aiming for the outside corner. The beauty and the curse of the knuckle ball is that it has a mind of its own.

So, with all that being said, HOW IN THE HECK CAN JOHNNY DAMON CONTROL THE PITCH FROM 2ND BASE??

The pitch that Arod crushed hung up high. Knuckle balls do that from time to time. If it was easy to pitch a knuckle ball, everyone would do it.

#4 Well, now that it's ruined her life, I can go listen  

Posted

Ever since Suzyn Waldman gushed over Clemens' signing, everyone has been making fun of it. FJM, boston's talk radio, and even Mike and the Mad Dog. However, despite my pervese need to experience awkward moments (even though they make me feel uncomfortable), I couldn't listen to this. It drives me crazy when people are not self aware, and knowing that Suzyn has no idea how stupid she is would have really killed me. Every time she opens her mouth, it sickens me that she has a job....and she sounds so proud of her position with the Yankees.

Of course, everything changed with today's article detailing how mad she is that the Mad Dog for playing the clip. She said it has "ruined her life".

Well that just makes my day. So now i can listen.

#3.5 a cut and paste blurb  

Posted

"The archetypal anecdote about Ronnie Lott recounts the time, late in the 1985 season, when doctors recommended surgery to repair the tip of his left pinky finger. The 49ers' star defensive back didn't want to miss any playing time in recuperation, so he chose a simpler procedure. He had the finger amputated above the third knuckle. He didn't miss a down."

#3 Anything but a "lazy sunday"  

Posted

Sunday had it all. The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, and the creamy middles. In no particular order (other than chronological):



At my suggestion, my cousin and I attempted to take out my grandmother for her birthday. Somewhere along the numerous coordinating phone calls, I got squeezed out of the plans. My grandmother suggested that they go without me!



Anyway, after many permutations, the final plans became a bbq at my cousin's house, which turned out to be a blast. Grilling simply is the greatest form of cooking. Everything tastes better outdoors. [this would be the dizzying high]



I came home pretty tired, moderately sweaty, and totally in the mood for some video games. It takes a lot to draw my attention away from Star Wars Battlefront II, but on a whim, I decided to get out of my comfortable recliner to see who IM'd me. [this is the creamy middle]



Color me shocked that the grey ghost, who can ignore an email like it has the plague, was actually proactively suggesting to hang out. So, i shut off the game in mid battle, and get ready to go out. A couple of shots and a quick game of wii tennis later, and we're off. And that's where things started to go downhill. [and now, the terrifying low]



As per the norm (when I'm in charge of directions), we had a bit of trouble actually getting to the bar. After a big loop around the downtown area (stupid "no turns" and "one ways"), we finally get to the bar.....which was closed. Plan B was the bar two doors down...which was also closed. Do people not drink on sundays? Religious zealots strike again.

Option three was that irish bar McDougals that I know I've walked to from school. However, it must have been in a parallel universe, b/c it was impossible to find, much less drive to, from where we were. After a couple of loops around (look kids, big ben), we gave up and decided to go to the market street bar (Plan D, for those keeping count).

Walking in Penn Station, Plan E started looking better than D. Plan E was that shady bar INSIDE penn station. You know the one...we've all looked in it walking by just to see what type of clientele frequents it. Lonely guys waiting for a train? Degenerates? Both?

Well, the guy I was with had a much different opinion of the bar. "It looks like a real party bar". What? Huh? That's one step away from calling it "The Place To Be" (tm Seinfeld). So what the heck, we give it a try.

A completely empty bar except for two guys in the back awaited us. But, they had a nice tv with the Yankee game on. After we got a run down of what's on tap (a nice selection btw), we order two. As our beers are handed to us, we're told "that will be 12 dollars". This bar, you see, was actually in the Newark section of Midtown NYC., apparently. In shock, I shakingly hand her my credit card and ask if we can start a tab. "sure, but it's a 20 dollar minimum."

Everything begins to slow down for me. I'm still reeling from paying 6 dollars for a beer, but also focused on the future rage that will ensue when i'm FORCED to order a second round.

When you are in a bar like McSorley's, and you realize there is no music on, it's a beautiful thing. When you are in an empty bar in the middle of a train station, and hanging your head in shame, music would be a welcomed addition. Of course, one should be careful of what one wishes for....when someone finally started playing music, it was that depressing country music that makes you want to shoot yourself.

And it was very loud.

Luckily, the person we were waiting for came early, so we asked for a check before I got my second beer. Even though we had spent 18 bucks (on three beers!), a comment was still made about the minimum for a tab. I honestly don't know the point of the minimum, or whether or not it was being waived, or anything, so I figured a 4 dollar tip would cover all the angles. If i was being forced to get up to 20, then it's still a 2 dollar tip. If not, then I obviously overtipped, but at least I was getting out of that bar w/o being sodomized or anything.

Completely annoyed by the evening, i realized on my way home that 1) i was hungry and 2) all of my options for takeout were most likely closed. So i reached deep into the back of my cabinet, where those shady boxes of meals reside. The "in case of emergency, add water and microwave" type of deals. With my expectations at an all time low, i was pleasantly surprised by how "slightly above mediocre" it was starting to smell.

I put my tray in front of the greatest chair of all time, and placed the dish on the tray. Two seconds after turning around, i heard a horrible crash and was hit with flying glass and rice. On my chair lay my entire dinner, seeping through the fabric and instantly leaving an unremovable stain.

There was a moment of pause, where the entire next hour was able to flash through my head. This is a deep secret that I haven't shared with many people, but I'm very lazy. On top of that, I really hate doing work that didn't need to be done 10 seconds ago. The idea of having to pick up shreds of glass and trying to minimize the damage to the chair was overwhelming. And all that time, a great wind carried over me, and I thought "six dollars a beer!".

AJ's scenes that night when I watched Sopranos were very identifiable.

#2 "They might as well just stick a gun to your head"  

Posted

That's how a coworker described the people at Subway (the sandwich store). Last year, I was mocked for praising the virtues of Subway. It's rare that I'm wrong, but I was definitely on the wrong side of that debate.

Let me describe the differences between the two different types of Subways that I have experienced in the past year.

The people who worked at the downtown (NYC) location remembered me by the 2nd day, and knew what kind of sub i liked by the third. When they put on the cucumbers, they were lined up on an angle, laying on each other. Thus, each and every single bite had at least one layer of cucumber, and possibly 2 (where one cucumber slice ended, the other was already beginning). Picture the cucumber equivalent of a DJ overlapping one song over another at a club. That's how vital it was to my eating experience.

and when i said "everything but onions", they actually put, you know, EVERYTHING on except onions. Bless their hearts, they'd confirm that i wanted all three types of peppers, but they didn't judge me for it. And after awhile, they even started to buy into my definition of "extra" vinegar. [extra vinegar - noun - "an amount of vinegar that would be the equivalent of drowning a sandwich in vinegar, and then adding more vinegar"]

Basically, after a "big salad" from Monk's was stuffed into two pieces of bread, the sandwich became more than satisfying. And, the guy always rounded the price of the sandwich to somethign that only required one or two coins (i can't remember the exact price, but it was "easy").

Now, Newark's version of Subway is a little different. First, even though nobody else ever came to the store at 2 pm, every time I walked in was the first time. They wouldn't be able to pick me out of a lineup if the only other suspects were Fred Flinstone and the Penguin from Batman Returns. The one silver lining to not being remembered is that the same tricks can work over and over again. And the usually one failsafe move that I have is to order the fixin's one at at time. In other words, when she would ask what i wanted, I would say "lettuce and tomatos". this way, she'd put the tomatos on as though it was going to be the only thing going on this sandwich. then, after she put those on, i'd say "you know what, I'll have cucumbers too". see, if she goes into a sandwich knowing there will be a ton of toppings, she can feel comfortable skimping on each individual topping. But, if you go one topping at a time, she has to over apply the toppings, and then won't be able to backtrack.

Of course, even with this manipulative maneuver, the sandwich still came out "puny". I'd be lucky to get 5 slices of cucumber on a 12 inch sub. You could fit two fingers between slices easily. And i'm convinced they somehow make their bread more airy to cut down on actual product. It feels like it deflates the second you bite into it.


This is all a long, roundabout way of complaining that Subway is a rip off. Now, you may be asking why i continued to go there. Well, as hard as this may be to believe, there was actually a deli that was WORSE than subway. This place robbed you, and then laughed in your face about it.

Their idea of a menu is randomly scattered pieces of paper on all four walls. So you basically have to order and hope for the best in terms of price. A footlong turkey sub ran a little over 7 dollars, but it was a healthy size, so i wasn't that upset. Then, one day, after I order the sub, the girl goes "oh, i'll throw in fries, coleslaw, and a pickle". I thought that was super nice of her, and while I waited, i noticed a sign that said that the tuna melt came with such things. Since it was the only sub i could find, I was beginning to think that all sandwiches came with those sides. I was moderately steamed that the other order-takers had not alerted me to this fact the other days I had ordered. Of course, I couldn't be more wrong.

When I went up to pay, i was flabbergasted that my bill came to almost 11 bucks. I started frantically doing the math in my head. 4 bucks for fries, coleslaw and a pickle? was scam. Then it got worse. The fries were flat out soggy, the coleslaw was served in a plastic shot glass, and the pickle was a circular slice! as in, one of the two pickles that would be put on a burger. the size of a silver dollar!! i couldn't even fit my fork in the coleslaw container so i didn't bother. I've been scammed a lot of times by food establishments cough*mexicali rose* cough*, but this may take the cake. Paid 4 bucks for something I didn't order, and it was pathetic at that.

#1 Why doesn't scribe-fire work?  

Posted

I have this awesome plug in for firefox that lets me instantly blog with a touch of a button. The only problem is that it keeps adding %;% garbage to the end of sentences. It's really driving me crazy, b/c now i have to open up internet explorer and change my gmail account (I usually have IE set to my work gmail) and THEN open up the edit-blog page.

Not pleased.

30 posts in 30 days.  

Posted

Didn't moses do something like that?   Anyway, to the two readers i have out there, my bad for letting this blog die.  What little efforts i put into blogging went to Torre site, but that was a big waste of time.  So, i'm refocusing my energies to this blog.  My promise is to give you 30 new entries (not including this one), in 30 days, or your money back.  

Florida's interview after winning  

Posted

Cringeworthy awkward.   that is all.

Don't soak your hair brush in water  

Posted

On a lark, I decided to soak my brush before I left for work today.  I figured some of the hairspray gunk might melt off of it.   Well, when i got home, there was a thick layer of white puss around all the bristles.  Apparently, the water energized all the dormant chemicals.  I just spent my precious hour before sleep trying to pick off the mucus.   Not pleasant. 

The worst play in all of sports  

Posted

Is basketball's blocked shot where the defender swats the ball aggressively into the stands.   I feel so awkward watching a defender act all tough after such a move even though it's still the other team's possession.   There's absolutely no reason to "swat".



If a defender kept his arms straight he'd 1) be less likely to be called for a foul 2) have a better chance of blocking it (b/c he'd be as "high" as possible), and 3) be more likely to retain possession.



This play has always bothered me, but I just caught five minutes of a UCLA special.   Jabbar used to just "catch" an opponent's shot with the gentlest of blocks.   It was such a thing of beauty.



The NBA is dead.

you continue to dig your own grave  

Posted

"Then why would you specify a bottle if that wasn't your intention???"



Can't you read? I said bottle as an answer to her bottle or tap. when i sat down, i.e. BEFORE she asked that question, i only saw the bottles of beer listed on the menu as my options.



go back to the original post. i broke down each statement made and the order in which i remember them happening.



you are slow.





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No, Dos Equis wasn't just in a bottle  

Posted

"It's common sense that a Dos Eqis at a mexican themed restaurant would be in a bottle."

First of all, if any restaurant was going to have Dos Equis on tap, it would be a mexican restaurant. I assume that's what you meant.

But, the problem was that I didn't even consider draft beer as an option when I sat down. If you remember, when I looked at the menu, I asked why there weren't prices next to the beers. I was looking for the cheapest "beer" (i.e. not coors light, etc) on the menu. Normally, at a bar with the regular stuff on tap, I would get a Stella. But, I always forget that they tend to charge more for Stella b/c it's "foreign". So, i've been trying to mentally ingrain that into my head and find a domestic draft beer.

Whether it was because I didn't see taps when I was at the bar, or whether it was because i started to think of the place as a "restaurant" when we sat down at table, I don't know. But for whatever reason, the idea of draft beers were lost on me. So, I was choosing from the Bottles listed on the menu. Because Dos Equis apparently comes in both bottles and draft at the restaurant, the waitress had to ask. Instinctively, I said bottle, b/c that's what was on the menu, but my cheapness sense kicked in. Mentally: wait, drafts are cheaper than bottles. let's see what they have on draft. If you notice, I went with a domestic beer on draft, the cheapest of the cheap (uh, I assume blue moon is american, but i could be wrong).

So, it's even more logical that the waitress could confuse my saying "bottle" to go with the water.

Let's take out her question of "bottle or tap/draft" and my "bottle" out of the dialogue. Now you have this:

I'd like a dos equis lager, lager. [pause] Hmm, what do you have on draft?

a normal customer could do that. They see dos equis on the menu, and that's the beer they are going to go with, unless they have something unique on tap.

It's rare that a person would prefer a bottle over a draft, but then ask what's on draft. The only reason they'd do that if they were cheap, like I am. So, even though i said "bottle" right away, I then changed my mind (again, b/c i didn't realize there was an option right away).

And when I ask for water at a bar, i always throw it in after an order of alcohol as "oh, and can I also get a water when you get a chance". Three reasons for this: 1) it's lame to drink water at a bar and I don't want to be mocked for it by either the bartender or my friends 2) I don't want the bartender to think I'm cheap. They work on tips and some people don't tip on water and 3) I don't want to tip for the water, so I get it with the real drink so i can tip all on one event.

This is the way I always do it. This is the way I will continue to do it. And that's the way I did it on saturday (although tipping wasn't an issue w/ a sitdown meal)

Unacceptable Dates  

Posted

Heroes: 12/4/06 --> 1/22/07
and then 3/4/07 --> 4/23/07

House: 9/26/06 --> 10/31/06
and then 12/12/06 --> 1/9/07 --> 1/30/07
and then 2/13/07 --> 3/6/07 --> 3/27/07

Studio 60: 12/4/06 --> 1/22/07
and then 2/19/07 --> ???

Office: 2/22/07 --> 4/5/07


I assume that these long breaks are done so actors can film movies. If that's not the case, then that's completely unacceptable. By the time the show comes back, most people have lost interest.

Bottled water, Part II  

Posted

See, you can't even follow a written argument. In your version of the events, you don't even mention what the waitress said. I find that odd. She was the one who introduced the idea of bottle or tap. Where is that in your version?

I'm not just saying that I was misunderstood. I'm taking responsibility for the misunderstanding. I should have first made sure that when i said "bottle" that it was clearly referencing the beer. Furthermore, I shouldn't have switched my order from bottled beer to draft so haphazardly. That's the main reason for the confusion.

Correlation does not equal causation. your "proof" that I said bottled water was that you thought i said it before the water came and obviously the waitress thought it to. But maybe the cause is that I said something that could be misunderstood as that. You are somehow taking credit for thinking of bottled water before it actually came out.

get lost.

When I ordered my drinks last night, here are the statements that were made between me and the waitress:





1) Me: "I'd like a Dos Equis Lager" {mispronounced Lager}



2) Me: "Lager" {had to repeat the word Lager}



3) Me: "and a water"



4) Her: "Bottle or tap/draft?" {honestly can't remember if she said tap or draft}



5) Me: "Bottle"



6) Me: "wait, what do you have on tap?"



7) Her: {lists the beers on tap}



8) Me: "oh, I'll take a blue moon"





The order in which I wrote those statements is what I think happened. However, I'm fully willing to admit that #4 might have come as i was saying #2 because there was an awkward pause after i stumbled over the words the first time (i made a mental note of that because I was mentally practicing how to say dos equis before she came to the table). If #4 comes early, then #5 might have come right after #3 or maybe before #3. But I guarantee these were the only lines said.



Needless to say, I was very surprised when she brought me my beer, then the round of tap waters, and THEN a bottle of water for me. When I started to express my confusion, the knuckle draggers that I was with insisted that I had asked for a bottle of water. After a couple of seconds, I understood where the miscommunication came from, but they wouldn't listen b/c they had two infallible arguments:



1) They heard me ask for a bottle of water

3) There are three of them, and only one of me.



Now, few people understand the burden of being so superior to the people around you, but the pressure can be overwhelming. For the record, here's what obviously happened:



A) Because I said "Lager" twice, it could have sounded like "I'd like a dos equis Lager, Lager [which sounds like bottle] and a [slurred together to sound like "of"] water.



B) When I answered "bottle" to her beer question, it was so close to my water request, that people associated the words together. Bottle and water next to each other in speech must mean a bottled water. This is the most likely scenario because there would have been some overlap between the waitresses comments and my own. She didn't seem overly sharp, and was writing down our orders, so there may have been a delay in her awareness that dos equis comes in both bottles and draft. [This is even more probable when one realizes that she was Stumped when I asked her what's on tap. She started with an "uhhh" and then trailed offer after 3 beers were listed.]





Now, here's what's NOT likely.



C) I asked for a bottled water. Why is this not likely? Because Freudian slips, or just general mispoken words tend to result from something that's on the mind. I would never, ever order a bottled water. To be honest, I wouldn't even be confident that they existed at a place like this. Furthermore, when someone misspeaks, it's done out of mental laziness. The speech is such 2nd nature, that it's almost done by impulse. However, I was as aware of my speech at that moment as I have ever been. Again, i was preparing to say dos equis lager in my head in the minutes preceding the order AND i heard myself say it incorrectly when I ordered. I was fully and 100% aware of what i was saying, word for word. I have a VIVID memory of what I said.



There's not a doubt in my mind that I did not order a "bottled water". Now, i'm FULLY willing to admit that my order could be misunderstood. A "throw momma from the train, a kiss" type of situation. I harbor no ill will at the waitress for messing up this order. It was an honest, and most likely repeatable, mistake.



However, the knuckledraggers around me who insisted that I said bottled water are the real culprits here. It's so sad and pathetic that I can understand how their minds work better than they can themselves. No wonder this country is such a mess. People don't even have the capacity to understand why they think the way they do.



Now, I know they were just being stubborn towards the end to pile on. But if they really couldn't see why they connected "bottle" to "water", then ....... ok, there's no end to that sentence. then they suck, i guess.





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No, i will NOT sit back and enjoy Wild Hogs  

Posted



Something strange is going on
in America.
Somehow, it's become the social norm to look down on people who have refined
tastes. There used to be a time where people aspired to better
themselves, and took pride in being able to distinguish between the qualities
of things. Now, if someone has the opinion that something is not high in
quality, they are looked down upon for being elitist. The new
mantra for America
has become "like what i like, and if you don't, then you are just being a
contrarian." Actually, I would probably be mocked for using
the word contrarian, but you get the point.





There's no better example of "the race to the bottom" than
movies. Box office numbers have become the new gage of quality, and
as long as the masses pay money, then the movie must be good. Wild
Hogs is the #1 movie in america,
so it must be good, right? Wrong. I don't care if every
single moron walks out of that theater laughing, it means nothing to
me. Mass appeal will never be an accurate gage of quality.





The sad part is that if you try to explain why a movie like Wild Hogs isn't
funny, the sheep get defensive. They try to make a strawman out of you,
claiming that your standards are too high. "I'm sorry, your holiness,
that not all movies are Michael Moore Documentaries." These are the
same people who wrongly assume that people who have heard of OPS can't actually
watch or enjoy a baseball game..that it's all just a bunch of data points in
their excel spreadsheets.





Every genre of every artform has quality work. There is "good"
pop music, just as there is pretentious Indy music. For the record,
I can appreciate the idea of a low brow comedy. The caveat being
that it has to be done right. And it's pretty obvious that today's
standards to get a movie green lit is not quality. A studio head
does not sit back and say "is this movie good?" but rather "will
this movie make money?"





My standard for comedy is pretty simple (and two fold). 1) Did it
make me laugh? I assume that's a pretty universal standard that everyone
adheres to. And of course, it's very subjective. People
are going to disagree according to their own tastes, and that's entirely
ok. However, people fail to account for the 2nd prong of the
test: 2) could I, or my friends, have come up with the same joke in under
10 minutes.





When I saw the trailer for Wild Hogs, I had the entire movie in my
head. Eventually, I will read reviews to see how accurate I am, but
here's my best guess:





4 middle aged men are having a mid-life crisis. They feel stuck in
a rut. They have stereotypical, nagging wives and kids who don't
appreciate them. One of them (my guess, the Travolta character, b/c
he's the only one who looks like he could pass for "cool") decides
they all need to have an adventure. Tim Allen is the
"normal" guy, Joe Everyman. He's the one that the (is
there a word for male soccer moms? there should be) soccer-dads will
relate to, and the soccer-moms will associate with their husbands.
The Fargo guy (it's a shame I don't
know his real name, b/c i think he's a GREAT actor) will be the overly
whiney/scared character. A combination of Millhouse and Chucky (from Rug
Rats). Every time there's a mini adventure on the trip, he's going
to be the "voice of reason" and the one most scared about
it. Of course, towards the end of the movie, he'll step up and be
the bravest in the most dire of situations.





And Martin Lawrence will play the black friend.








Now that the players are out of the way, here's what's going to qualify as
laughs: 1) the guys, while trying to be cool, will be very
uncool. They'll buy biker clothes that aren't quite
right. It will look like they are trying too hard. I imagine
they'll shop together, and you'll get a few cut scenes of them coming out of
the dressing room with more and more ridiculous outfits.


2) They won't know how to operate their motorcycles. At first they'll be
driving off the road, not being able to steer and hitting semi movable objects
(trees? bushes?)


3) someone will slip in mud or feces. This will actually be a running
gag, as the guys get dirtier as the trip continues. By the end,
they will all look completely disheveled.


4) There will be a hot girl that will be one of the biker's love
interest. He'll do increasingly embarrassing things to win her
attention, and even though it would fail in real life, in the end, she finds
him quirky and charming.


5) The 4 guys will have a run-in with a real biker gang. It will start as
a misunderstanding, but will escalate until the guys have to fight
back. This is probably where the Fargo
guy steps up.


6) There will be a camp scene where they have trouble setting up the tent and
starting the fire. They will have to eat "wacky" food.
Perhaps a unique bowel movement will take place at the makeshift campsite.


7) The long arm of the law will be involved. Probably an incompetent cop
will follow them throughout the trip.





See, it took me about 10 minutes to write that. Thus, if I'm going
to enjoy this movie, it has to be something above and beyond that.
And I know if I had a little roundtable discussion with a handful of my
friends, we could make a much much better Wild Hogs in 10 minutes.
There's nothing more enraging then when a fan reviewer says "just sit back
and enjoy it. it's a comedy!" I sit back and enjoy comedy all
the time. Namely, when I'm hanging out with my friends.
If they can be funnier 1) on the fly, 2) all the time 3) without spending 80
million to produce their comedy and 4) not charge me 10 bucks, then why on
earth would I go see a movie? A show like family guy (back in its prime)
was as "low brow" as they could come. But it was done in a
original way. I could tell that the writers were not only funny, but that
the final product was the result of constant refining. I could see
how they started with an original draft that was funny, but that they kept
tweaking it to make it as funny as it could be. With Wild Hogs, all I can
see is some guy in a suit having a meeting with another guy in a suit and
daying "hey, how about 4 guys go on a road trip with motorcycles" and
the 2nd suit saying "great, run with it!"





Ok, now i'm looking at the reviews, and while it seems I was pretty accurate in
my prediction about the movie. One thing I missed was that their #1
joke is that these guys are not gay, but are put in gay situations. Oh
man, the hilarity!!!





NY
Times Article nails it









How about instead of going to see this movie, you just write the movie inside
your own head. Are people so dumb that they can't picture the jokes
without seeing it in the movie? Where's the
originality? How is this the #1 movie in america,
but Arrested Development was cancelled? AD had jokes that made me
go "man, even if i was given the topic, it would have taken me years to
craft that joke so perfectly".


According to Rotten
tomatos
(18%) and Metacritics
(27) this movie is getting destroyed by the critics. Of course, there's
still no defense to "Fred J." who commented (in part)



The critics are showing their true colors by bashing this
film. The audience is already turning on them for their incompetent analysis of
the film. You have to wonder if these critics even bothered to watch the film.
... It's a comedy. Sit back, relax and take that stick out of your butt and
laugh a little. ...why are critics trying so hard to keep people away from an
unbelievably funny movie? Wonder if it touched a nerve with them, or wonder if
they just don't like one of the stars of the movie? Something is going on or
maybe the critics have lost their minds.






Yes, Fred, it's a nation wide conspiracy to keep down Wild Hogs. A movie
this powerful HAS to be stopped by the elite.





I can't even go on anymore. just rereading the "sit back,
relax" line is killing me.





Don't think, america,
it's not good for you. Hollywood will tell us what's funny, and
we'll agree.












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Most disturbing aspect of the drawing  

Posted


Drawing pictures all over your hand and arm, while in rehab, is just normal-crazy. What makes these particular drawings so disturbing, heck downright "call your neighbors" crazy, is that the flower is drawn upside down. Hold out your left hand as though you planned on drawing on it with your right. Clearly, the logical decision would be to have the flower start near your thumb and then grow towards your index finger. What kind of mind would draw a flower upside down. Or maybe it's worse than that....Maybe she held her left hand upside down while she drew on it.


Yikes.