How Knuckledraggers measure time  

Posted

Let's say that there are two types of work: Type A and Type B. Type A is desirable, while Type B is annoying.

On Monday, in either the late morning or early afternoon, I get an email from a knuckledragger that says "I just got Type A work". On Monday night, after work is over, we discuss how bad Type B is, and he says "don't worry, I have three days of Type A work".

On Wednesday evening, after work, the same person says "you know, Type B isn't that bad, it makes the day go by quickly".

Confused, I say "I thought you said you had three days of Type A".

Arrogantly, he answers "yeah.....Today is wednesday. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday equals three days. Duh!"

Me: "But you said I have three days on Monday night."

Him: "Yeah, I was including the work I did on Monday"

Me: "But that's in the past. Have is a present tense"

Him: "What, are you saying I should have stretched x amount of Type A into another day of work"?

Me: {internally, because there was no point in using these words to a knuckledragger}: Wow, what a strawman argument

Me: "Uh, by saying it makes the day go fast, that means you worked on it today"

Him: Yeah so......

Me: {puts headphones on}.

Point of the story: If you ever get into a conversation with a knuckledragger, make sure you realize that 1) have = past + present, 2) All of Tuesday plus slivers of Monday and Wednesday equals 3 days.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 17, 2007 at Monday, December 17, 2007 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the .

1 comments

PoppaSquat  

Well it's clear you don't drag your knuckles because they're so damn hairy.

Um, Jesus was put to death on a Friday, and rose again from the dead three days later, on a Sunday. So I guess because I still have some sort of religious belief and I'm not a complete atheist that I am below you and have no counting ability.

I forgot, I'm dealing with a turkey-eating vegetarian who has nothing better to do while getting paid for doing nothing at work than take pot shots at family members.

This is coming from a guy who complains that I have cases of water in my house and I'm contributing to global warming, yet he's happy to partake in drinking several bottles while over. When I suggest drinking tap water, he simply replies "Well, I'm not an animal."

Oh, and what about the 12 packs of soda, or bottles and cans of beer which you stock your fridge with? That concerned about the environment, eh?

It must be wonderful to be you and live in your environmental, correct-counting bliss while everyone around you is nothing more than a knuckledragger.

I'm glad that my "ignorance" is still fodder for your blog.

December 18, 2007 at 10:17 AM