Let's say that there are two types of work: Type A and Type B. Type A is desirable, while Type B is annoying.
On Monday, in either the late morning or early afternoon, I get an email from a knuckledragger that says "I just got Type A work". On Monday night, after work is over, we discuss how bad Type B is, and he says "don't worry, I have three days of Type A work".
On Wednesday evening, after work, the same person says "you know, Type B isn't that bad, it makes the day go by quickly".
Confused, I say "I thought you said you had three days of Type A".
Arrogantly, he answers "yeah.....Today is wednesday. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday equals three days. Duh!"
Me: "But you said I have three days on Monday night."
Him: "Yeah, I was including the work I did on Monday"
Me: "But that's in the past. Have is a present tense"
Him: "What, are you saying I should have stretched x amount of Type A into another day of work"?
Me: {internally, because there was no point in using these words to a knuckledragger}: Wow, what a strawman argument
Me: "Uh, by saying it makes the day go fast, that means you worked on it today"
Him: Yeah so......
Me: {puts headphones on}.
Point of the story: If you ever get into a conversation with a knuckledragger, make sure you realize that 1) have = past + present, 2) All of Tuesday plus slivers of Monday and Wednesday equals 3 days.
So, a soldier is coming home after a tour in Iraq, and he wants to surprise his kids. So he puts himself in a box and pops out in the middle of a class assembly (?). This is so exploitative both in an individual and general sense.
1) The actual kids are being exploited. Call me crazy, but I wouldn't want my emotional experiences as a child videotaped, broadcast on the news, or even performed in front of all my classmates as though I were a circus freak. The zoom in on the girl crying is just icing on the exploitative cake. That little girl is no longer an individual, but rather a symbolic and patriotic icon. How inappropriate.
2) The rest of the students are being exploited by being a part of this propaganda. Seriously, a school assembly just to make something "heart warming" that "supports the troops"? Only in Kentucky. Unfortunately, the Kentucky syndrome is spreading through the rest of this country. Only the east coast and California seem un-infected at this point....but we are barely holding on.
3) The father is exploiting himself and doing a disservice to the rest of the troops. This video will give viewers that warm fuzzy feeling when they watch it. They shouldn't have that warm fuzzy feeling.....because there are still a ridiculous number of soldiers still out there. This helps us forget about them, and the ones that died, and the 10's and 10's of thousands of Iraqi civilians who have died already. There shouldn't be a "feel good story of the year" in one of the more tragic situations in American history.
Move over "Grey Album", this is the definitive Jay-Z mash-up.
Jay-Z's "American Gangster" meets Led Zeppelin
Jay-Z's "American Gangster" meets Led Zeppelin
So i'm this close to starting to get back into watching the Knicks. And last night, I think I perfected the art of watching a Knicks game in 2007/2008.
Watch the pregame. It's amusing to see the announcers put a positive spin on what's been going on in the past week or so and how they speak positively at the chances of this game. Then, when the game starts, go watch something on your DVR. Come back in in the early third quarter. This will be right around the time where the 10 point deficit balloons into 17. Sure, you will have missed the fans booing at halftime, but you'll get the most important boos of the night....the rage filled boos. mmmm, delicious.
Stick around for the rest of the third quarter and the early fourth. This is when the announcers will start to admit that things are not right with the Knicks. In the middle of fourth, keep the game on in the background, but do something else. Me? I like to wash dishes. I just don't have the stomach to watch mid-fourth-quarter timeouts where Isiah has NOTHING to say to the team. He's calling those time outs out of obligation. Last night I made the mistake of glancing over at the TV and he was actually doing that awkward "swing my arms from side to side and then clap in the front b/c my back is getting stiff waiting for this bus."
Now, when the game is right about to end, pull up a seat and get comfortable. You'll hear comments such as "lowest point in Knicks' franchise history" "loudest boos of the season" and the like. The announcers have to kick it to the sideline guys who kick it to the studio guy and each time the transitions are so deliciously awkward. "let's send it back to that WWF guy for HIGHLIGHTS". Highlights?
Now, for la creme de la creme....Isiah's post game interview.
I don't know if they always did this, but I particularly enjoy the little text underneath his face that says "Isiah Thomas' post game interview following the 105-77 loss to Philadelphia". Kind of drives the point home.
First question: blah blah blah What do the Knicks need to do differently?
There's clearly only one answer to this....and it's not Zeke's "well, we need to move the ball better, and we need to make sharper cuts off of screens". What?!?!? How about TRYING. If the players TRIED, that might make them better. The only honest answer would be this:
"Listen, first of all, we would need to construct a competitive roster. But that ship has sailed. However, we could probably achieve mediocrity if the players started to try. Because it's 100% impossible to win a game if you aren't trying. Of course, the caveat to that is that I can't make the players try. The reason they are not trying is because they don't respect me. Any efforts to right this ship are futile, because I have lost the players' respect. Can you believe Dolan isn't firing me?"
I don't understand how Isiah can get through a practice anymore. Can you imagine trying to work on little things like a new play, or free throw shooting when you KNOW the players aren't going to try during the actual game. I bet Isiah has to be all humble when asks Marbury to do something in practice.
"um, excuse me, Mr. Marbury..."
"what do you want, punk?"
"um, I was just wondering, if maybe, um, it could be possible for you to stand over here so we can try to run this play".
"hahaha....Yo, Randolph, get a load of this guy. He just asked me to do something. Hahah, what a fool".
In other words, I have to assume Knick practices are like the scenes in those cliched "inner city public school" movies where the new teacher doesn't have the respect of the room yet. Of course, in the Knicks' case, there is no 2nd or 3rd act where the teacher wins the class over by "caring" and "relating". Isiah Thomas is no Michelle Pheiffer.
Wow, that went off on a pointless side tangent.
Watch the pregame. It's amusing to see the announcers put a positive spin on what's been going on in the past week or so and how they speak positively at the chances of this game. Then, when the game starts, go watch something on your DVR. Come back in in the early third quarter. This will be right around the time where the 10 point deficit balloons into 17. Sure, you will have missed the fans booing at halftime, but you'll get the most important boos of the night....the rage filled boos. mmmm, delicious.
Stick around for the rest of the third quarter and the early fourth. This is when the announcers will start to admit that things are not right with the Knicks. In the middle of fourth, keep the game on in the background, but do something else. Me? I like to wash dishes. I just don't have the stomach to watch mid-fourth-quarter timeouts where Isiah has NOTHING to say to the team. He's calling those time outs out of obligation. Last night I made the mistake of glancing over at the TV and he was actually doing that awkward "swing my arms from side to side and then clap in the front b/c my back is getting stiff waiting for this bus."
Now, when the game is right about to end, pull up a seat and get comfortable. You'll hear comments such as "lowest point in Knicks' franchise history" "loudest boos of the season" and the like. The announcers have to kick it to the sideline guys who kick it to the studio guy and each time the transitions are so deliciously awkward. "let's send it back to that WWF guy for HIGHLIGHTS". Highlights?
Now, for la creme de la creme....Isiah's post game interview.
I don't know if they always did this, but I particularly enjoy the little text underneath his face that says "Isiah Thomas' post game interview following the 105-77 loss to Philadelphia". Kind of drives the point home.
First question: blah blah blah What do the Knicks need to do differently?
There's clearly only one answer to this....and it's not Zeke's "well, we need to move the ball better, and we need to make sharper cuts off of screens". What?!?!? How about TRYING. If the players TRIED, that might make them better. The only honest answer would be this:
"Listen, first of all, we would need to construct a competitive roster. But that ship has sailed. However, we could probably achieve mediocrity if the players started to try. Because it's 100% impossible to win a game if you aren't trying. Of course, the caveat to that is that I can't make the players try. The reason they are not trying is because they don't respect me. Any efforts to right this ship are futile, because I have lost the players' respect. Can you believe Dolan isn't firing me?"
I don't understand how Isiah can get through a practice anymore. Can you imagine trying to work on little things like a new play, or free throw shooting when you KNOW the players aren't going to try during the actual game. I bet Isiah has to be all humble when asks Marbury to do something in practice.
"um, excuse me, Mr. Marbury..."
"what do you want, punk?"
"um, I was just wondering, if maybe, um, it could be possible for you to stand over here so we can try to run this play".
"hahaha....Yo, Randolph, get a load of this guy. He just asked me to do something. Hahah, what a fool".
In other words, I have to assume Knick practices are like the scenes in those cliched "inner city public school" movies where the new teacher doesn't have the respect of the room yet. Of course, in the Knicks' case, there is no 2nd or 3rd act where the teacher wins the class over by "caring" and "relating". Isiah Thomas is no Michelle Pheiffer.
Wow, that went off on a pointless side tangent.
So a coworker *gasp* actually listens to that blowhard Colin Cowherd. It reminded me of this chat I had with him a couple of years ago. Looks like I had "help" from two other friends posting questions....I seem to remember the Buffalo reference being an inside joke about a wing eating contest. The bolded questions came from either two of my friends, or myself. I'm particularly proud of the Ross question and the one from the Clock.
Moderator: Hello everyone .. Colin is wrapping up the show and will be joining the chat room at approximately 1:10 p.m. ET ... keep sending your questions!
Colin Cowherd: Wow! I'm surrounded by computer hackers! It's a dream come true! Anyway, fire away! Good to be here.
Micromick, portland: Colin, are you going to lean on your buddy Phil Knight for a bunch of old shoes to give away as prizes?
Colin Cowherd: Believe me, the calls have already been made!
Elaine (San Diego): Why does larry bowa have a job? What am i missing? The players hate him and the team is underachieving.
Colin Cowherd: Give him a little more time. Remember the Yankees are struggling too right now and Joe Torre could be the best manager in baseball right now.
Tom (jefferson, nj): How has the internet affected your job, and sports generally? It seems like sports programs have to be "more" than just recapping scores since that information is easily available via the net.
Colin Cowherd: Makes it easier AND tougher. More access and more responsibility. I love the internet and any rumors about me and low-grade porn sites are strictly that!
Dennis (Newark): There seems to be a trend in sports reporting (Sportscenter, talk radio, PTI, etc) to be a "personality" first, and be a reporter second. Have sports become a forum for medicore comedians, and if so, what can be done to stop it?
Colin Cowherd: It's real simple ... most people have broader lives than sitting around studying box scores. The more people you can reach, the more revenue you produce for a company. If you want hard core sports, there are plenty of places to find it on the internet. Never make the fatal mistake to think everybody thinks just like you. Those personalities you rip, have five times the ratings of the Xs and Os guys.
Derek (Corvallis): Will the industry-wide work stoppage in the porn industry have an effect on Mike Bellotti's moustache?
Colin Cowherd: I knew a beaver fan would show up on this site! Good luck vs. LSU! I'll be there.
Adam U. (Portland, OR): So what's the talking hairdo..er..Dan Patrick really like? And don't start kissing ass here.
Colin Cowherd: Actually, everybody has been great to me. My show has a different vibe than all the other shows on ESPN. But that's why they hired me. As for Dibble, he's a dangerous man. And I'll leave it at that.
Larry (Bronx): Do you have any listeners who are NOT in Portland?
Colin Cowherd: Frankly the response has been overwhelming. 99 percent of our listeners are NOT from Portland. Remember, we are not on in Philly, NY or Boston. We are in LA, San Diego and 260 other markets. The response from the audience has even surprised management. Best wishes.
Dennis (Newark): Follow up: So, ratings are the most important thing? Doesn't it say something when hardcore sports fans have no interest in watching sportscenter? ESPN has become the next MTV. It's just a matter of time before Stuart Scott joins the cast of Real World.
Colin Cowherd: Your opinion is clearly contradictory to the ratings I'm looking at. Ratings are the truth serum and they are up 11 percent at ESPN on SportsCenter. Again, don't fall for the mistake unsuccessful people often make .. thinking everybody thinks just like them.
Tony (Washington): how are your show ratings?
Colin Cowherd: They don't come out for months.
Shane Breidenstein (Reading, PA): What advice do you have for someone who is in college and interested in working in the field of sportsbroadcasting and sports talk radion?
Colin Cowherd: Don't be a sports nerd. Read about a lot of different things. This network is looking for smart people, not just sports junkies. TV and radio research indicates that the more interest people have beyond sports, the higher the income. Guess what? ESPN wants those guys as listeners and viewers.
PJ (Parcipany NJ): Do you get a chance to listen to any of your peers? Mike and the Madog recently had Michael Lewis (author of moneyball) on and were very disrespectul to him. Keep up the good work.
Colin Cowherd: I don't have the opportunity to listen to anybody. Too busy working on my show. Frankly, listening to other people can be disruptive to your own style. I don't listen to any other talk radio.
Charmc (Daphne, AL): What do you think of Mike Price? The local sports radio station celebrated the one year anniversary of him being caught at a strip club, by broadcasting from a local strip club.
Colin Cowherd: Mike Price won at Washington State. Enough said. The guy can coach.
Lin, Tampa: Like your segement "Expand the Globe". I have one question, how is your work day like? (ie. how many newspaer do you read everyday to prepare the show?)
Colin Cowherd: I have two producers who bring me nothing but material to read all day. Fortunately, I love reading.
Brian NYC: How many games do you think Denver can win against the T-Wolves?
Colin Cowherd: One, the T-Wolves are better defensively.
Dennis (Newark): Last question, i swear... I'm not denying that more PEOPLE are watching espn. But, the came can be said about reality shows. I'm asking if "quality" is even an issue any more in programming or if ALL the network cares about is the bottom line.
Colin Cowherd: Again, your definition of quality may not be somebody else's.
pat park city utah: why do they call thre yankees boston the greatest rivalry in sports when it is 26-0?
Colin Cowherd: Great question! Maybe because of the heightened drama of all those Red Sox losses. I love Park City, by the way.
Maria (Norwood): What do you think of fantasy sports in general? I hate them, my boyfriend loves them, I may dump him because of it.
Colin Cowherd: I have lots of fantasies. Tracy McGrady isn't in any of them. I'm a gambler. I like gamblers. They pick up the check. Fantasy guys argue over the tip.
Louis (Kent): What is with the Mariners this year?
Colin Cowherd: Not enough punch in the lineup. And an owner not willing to buy any. Great fans, great stadium, great city, and really really cheap owners.
Andy (Sherwood): Are you still tweaking the tech nerds on anonymous message boards?
Colin Cowherd: Inside joke. Yes, I am. Thanks for listening.
Thor, Auburn: Follow up question. I'm not a sports nerd, i follow all current events. BUT my degree is in history, nothing to do with radio. What advice do you give guys like me who want to get into radio?
Colin Cowherd: Call radio stations and ask for an interview. If they find your bright and interesting, that may get your foot in the door. Good luck to you.
Jeff (Reading PA): When will u be fired? please say soon!
Colin Cowherd: I have a long term deal. Most of it guaranteed. I guess that means no, by the way, that phone rining is your mother. She's asking you to move out of the basement.
Tyler (Reno): What do you make of the NL West this year? Do you think the Giants can repeat, provided everyone stays healthy?
Colin Cowherd: Not a great division. Like the Padres youth, their bullpen could be a liability.
Josh (Portland, OR): What should the Blazers do in the off season so that they'll be able to compete for home court in the playoffs next year, after ending their 21-year playoff streak?
Colin Cowherd: New coach and a new PG.
MicroMick, Portland: Chad insults midgets, fat people and gamblers... If he is the moral compass for your show, isn't it likely that the whole ship is listing a bit?
Colin Cowherd: What up Mick! Love your stuff! You are as warped as usual! Keep it coming! Thanks man.
Brian NYC: Haven't been able to catch your show yet but do you talk about sports during it at all? Judging by this chat - not so much.
Colin Cowherd: Talk sports all the time .. but try to broaden discussions so that we can broaden the audience. Have a great weekend.
DG (Clayton): Could you take the clothespin off RyDawg's nose?
Colin Cowherd: They guy has so many nose rings you could hang a shower curtain on them.
Andrea (Trenton): Tracy McGrady was recently referred to as a "robin" and not a "batman" by the daily quickie. Call me crazy, but Tracy is a top 5 player in the nba. Does he really need a shaq-type teamate to win?
Colin Cowherd: Yes. Jordan didn't win without Pippen. And Shaq didn't win without Kobe.
Ross (England): You have a great show, but it can be even better. You should be wackier. Maybe some prank phone calls or something. Also, you should talk louder (read: scream). People will think you know what you are talking about then.
Colin Cowherd: Damn! England! We really are making an impact!
MicroMick, Portland: Did you find Marvyn's house of man bracelets?
Colin Cowherd: Yes. Keeps most of his best stuff in the attic.
JON Manteca, CA: Why do you think Warren Sapp made the move to Oakland from Tampa Bay? What's the main reason it happened?
Colin Cowherd: Warren Sapp's a great player but wasn't worth the money. I think he will be a better fit where he is at.
Chicago, IL: Hi Colin. I'm a big fan of ESPN radio and have enjoyed your show since you came on to the national spotlight. My question is, why do you continually repeat segments throughout the day? For those of us that listen for the full three hours, its kind of boring listening to repeat clips over and over. You must have more material to go over in one day than repeat information from the previous day or earlier in the day segments. Thanks for reading my question! Keep up the great work and keep it real! Ashish (pronounce Ahh-sheesh)
Colin Cowherd: Because the average listener on any national show only listens for 20-25 minutes.
Colin Cowherd: We do it just like FM stations. Replay the hits. We have to cater to the 90 percent who listen for 20 minutes and not the 10 percent who listen all day.
Gary - Show Low, AZ: The Show not bad. However, I wish you would stay on a certain topic longer then you do. Example - (You were talking about Kobe Bryant) I was getting real interested, and then all of a sudden, you went on to another story, just at a drop of a hat. (Not Good) in my opinion. I bet a lot of other people get annoyed at how you change storys so fast too!
Colin Cowherd: Remember, my show is on in the morning in the West. I have to touch on a lot of different subjects. That's what the research says.
Steve, Knoxville, TN: What has been the biggest adjustment going from KFXX to ESPN?
Colin Cowherd: Different studio and working with different people. But radio is radio. Not that much different.
DG (Clayton): Colin, you're like the Billy Beane of radio...
Colin Cowherd: I have no idea what that means.
Eddie (Cleveland): You seem to have a better understanding of the industry as a whole than almost any other personality. Why do you think that is?
Colin Cowherd: It's a business. Plain and simple. A damn fun business.
Colin Cowherd: One thing people fail to understand, it's GOOD to have some hate mail. It's NOT good to have everyone like you. Because it means your opinions aren't strong enough.
Chris (San Diego): How does it feel for you to have taken over for Tony Kornheiser? I thought when I first started listening that nobody could do that. You've really pleasently surprised me. Thanks and keep it up.
Colin Cowherd: We have a different show than Tony. That's what ESPN wanted. Appreciate the comments.
Steve X (Manalapan): What's stopping MLB (or any sport) from cutting a deal with a network to get more games on tv? Why can't espn2 air a different game every night. Wouldn't everyone benefit?
Colin Cowherd: Interesting question. Keep your eye on the NFL Network. That may very well happen.
Rich, Milwaukee: They told me to give you a chance. And I am. And you're starting to grow on me. The takes you have that are based on business philosophy resonate with me, and I've never heard them in a sports context before. Do you have any business in your blood?
Colin Cowherd: Yes. I love business and am involved in some ventures outside of radio.
Neil Leesburg, VA: Does anyone else get annoyed that you replay segments from the show everyday? I am trying be be a loyal listener but this aspect of the show will force me to turn the dial. If this segment is so good, change the time you run it.
Colin Cowherd: Read what I said earlier. We play to the percentages.
Michael (Washington DC): Uh, I think your show is indecent and I'm going to fine you 1/2 million. And there's nothing you can do about it!
Colin Cowherd: Is this Michael Powell?
wilmington, NC: Colin, I just wanted to tell you how excellent your show is! I got so "fed-up" with "Mr. Tony's" show, I wouldn't listen to ESPN radio for 3 hours, until his show was over.. But I must say, your show is very good,, more info I hear everyday on your show,, more than Dan Patrick, or any other show on now...Thanks, One question: Why do broadcasters boycott Hockey? NO-ONE! Talks about tha NHL Playoffs, not even mention the scores,, I mean, these are games on ESPN, and ESPN2 ALL NITE!,, and no promotion, story plots, or lines,, nothing from any radio shows?? Is it that bad, I mean, I'm a big hockey fan, and enjoy watching it, but sometimes I think I'm tha only one in tha US watching these games on ESPN..if it's that bad, why don't ESPN just drop it altogather, and NEVER talk about it at all... They basically do that now?? thx
Colin Cowherd: I have my style and Tony has his. But I never try to copy anybody. Some like me and some don't. It's been that way for 14 years.
Thor, Auburn: Whos going to win the National CHampionship in Football next year? And don't give me any favorites i want somebody ranked below 12 in the preseason polls.
Colin Cowherd: Keep your eye on Cal .. great coach, best QB in the nation, if they can get through the first month, they could be tough. Also, Georgia and Purdue could surprise people.
PJ (Oxford): Don't you think that Japanese pitcher who did the gay porn has to be so gay even though he claims he's not. Not that there's anything wrong with it.
Colin Cowherd: He's not gay but his boyfriend is.
Michael Powell (DC): How dare you call me out! That's it, i'm doubling the fine.
Colin Cowherd: Sorry, Mr. Powell. I promise I'll vote for George.
Jorge (Buffalo): Hey Colin, Should the Yanks move A-Rod to Shortstop and Jeter to Third? I know A-Rod has more range, but my cousin says Jeter has the intagibles that make him a better fit and SS, any thoughts?
Colin Cowherd: I think Jeter is there to stay. ARod has the kind of physical fram that makes 3B an easy transition. I still think ARod got too much publicity and people forget the Yankees gave away a pretty darn good 2B.
Del Columbia, SC: Nice to get a college footbal guy doing a daily show. With that being said, How do you feel about Lou Holtz being able to turn South Carolina into a winner??
Colin Cowherd: Lou Holtz could be the best gameday coach in college football. He doesn't get mention much because he's not at a powerhouse. But give him a couple weeks of preperation and Lou is a nightmare to face.
Brett: C'mon people are the most honest when their drunk
Colin Cowherd: I always felt Haray Caray was baseball's most honest announcer.
Josh (Portland, OR): Besides the obvious, such as climate, what do you miss most about leaving the west coast? And what is a pleasant surprise in the East, other than large volumes of bread...
Colin Cowherd: Connecticut is beautiful when the sun is out. Much like Portland. I love the West but I felt living in the East would make me a better broadcaster because it would broaden my horizons.
William (Salem): What do you think of the FCC cracking down on radio speech?
Colin Cowherd: Not a big fan of it. Turn the dial if you don't like it.
James (Tampa): POST MY FREAKING MESSAGE COLIN! U IDIOT!
Colin Cowherd: Good to see my brother is keeping track of me.
Rob Neyer (Portland, OR): Stop stealing my fan base!
Colin Cowherd: If this is the real Rob, love your stuff.
Chris (San Diego): Some people said that the Diamondbacks would win the West this year. I know it's early in the season, but honestly, do you believe that will Curt Schilling gone and all those players they traded to get Richie Sexson gone, that they have a true shot?
Colin Cowherd: Don't think the DBacks have enough aces in their deck.
Mike Reston, VA: Colin- Show sounds great.... I have to be a homer and challenge you on your blanket statement about highering from w/ in. The "Fridge" at Maryland has been the best thing since hiring Gary Williams... hey wait a minute...where did Gary go to school?
Colin Cowherd: We are both right. It's a personal perference. I just don't like schools that choose inside candidates BECAUSE they are inside candidates.
Kyle, Blacksburg: What is the name of that book where the students take over Vegas, it sounds interesting, I'd like to read it
Colin Cowherd: It's written by a guy named Ben M. Go to Google, punch in 'Vegas gambling' and 'MIT' and see what comes up.
Maria (Caldwell): I've won the NCAA pool 3 years in a row. Why do guys get pissed when a girl wins?
Colin Cowherd: We're guys. We get pissed all day.
Clock: 15:01: Uh, your time is up.
Colin Cowherd: That's my favorite post yet!
Aloha, Oregon: Do you think the Pac-10 will finally get some love this season? I see a potential of 5 programs being in the top 25 this season. I also think my Cougs will continue on their path towards becoming a perinnial power in the Pac.
Colin Cowherd: USC No. 1, Cal and Oregon battle for No. 2, Washington State and Oregon State will be better than expected.
Pete (Quahog, RI): Who do you like tonight, Boston or the Yankees?
Colin Cowherd: I just like the fact they are playing. This series doesn't mean much other than for entertainment value.
Colin's Mom: Time to give me a back rub hunny!
Colin Cowherd: Ick!
Ross (England): are you concerned by the trend of having sports jerseys having advertisements on them? How many nike swooshes are needed on a catchers chest pad before we say enough is enough!
Colin Cowherd: Advertising doesn't bother me. I would put a Boston Market tatoo on my butt if they paid me $1 million a year.
jAY NEWINGTON,CT: Nice show so far. i might not agree with you on allthings but you at least seem to have honest well-thiugt opinions
Colin Cowherd: Appreciate it.
Brian (Memphis): Great show. Love the coverage from around the nation. Daily football fix is great. Please give some good karma to my Grizzlies.
Colin Cowherd: Tough first round matchup. Love Battier. He's a warrior.
Guy (Nantucket): Vazquez (-145) or Wakefield (+125)?
Colin Cowherd: Don't you know I think gambling is pure evil? Go study!
Rich from Tampa, Florida: Did you ever meet the late Chris Thomas, the WFLA sports anchor from Tampa, FL? If so, any thoughts on the man?
Colin Cowherd: Chris Thomas had more of an impact on me than any TV sportscaster I ever watched.
Mychaela (Madison, WI): Hey, Colin! I wanted to know if you're ticklish and if so, what spots?
Colin Cowherd: I'll be in Madison soon!
Tattoo Artist: Bend over.
Colin Cowherd: Your mom is on line 4.
Tracy - Cedar Rapids, IA: One simple question, why no Hockey?
Colin Cowherd: It gets a 0.6. I love the sport but it's bad radio. It's great in person.
Larry (LA): Are you my caucasian?
Colin Cowherd: I'm somebody's.
Vince (Paterson): What's the deal with soccer? Why does it suck so bad and why do all foreigners love it so much? U.S.A!!U.S.A!!
Colin Cowherd: I love World Cup soccer. But indoor soccer is like human foosball.
bob, newberg, oregon: What aspects made living in Portland enjoyable for you?
Colin Cowherd: Great summers and falls. Great restaurants. Laid back lifestyle. Wonderful people.
Adam U. (Portland, OR): Um...did anyone, um... tell you um... you say um... too much?
Colin Cowherd: Uhm ... no.
DJ (Long Valley): My fantasy team has a rotation of: pedro, vaz, moose, and santana. Are you jealous?
Colin Cowherd: Mine is Elle McPherson and Liz Hurley.
Gotta run. Thanks for the questions!
on 4th and three, some genius on the Eagles got called for a penalty that gave the Pats a first down. I couldn't hear exactly what the ref said, but the words "neutral zone infraction" were used.
Madden: The neutral zone is the length of the football. So that means that, even before someone jumped offsides, that some part of his body was lined up in that zone.
wow. John could have used any of 4 things to figure out that that's not true.
1) the refs had a long huddle before they made the call. Clearly, there was something to discuss. John correctly said that one ref saw one thing, while the other saw something else. let's combine this with...
2) the replay showed that a defensive player jumped offsides, but before the ball was snapped, his offensive counterpart also moved.
3) John Madden has an ear piece that connects him to a whole slew of people inside the NBC studios. perhaps one of them could have mentioned the rule.
4) he could have just known the rule, like I do. I remember when this rule was added. It was about a decade ago!
For the record. If a defensive player flinches/jumps and by doing so goes into the neutral zone, and THEN the offensive player commits a false start, it's ruled a defensive penalty. By going into the neutral zone, it would be unfair for the offensive player to continue to not move. He's allowed to assume the play is starting. If the defender had jumped, but stayed on his side of the ball (i.e. NOT in the neutral zone), and the offensive player flinched, it would be a false start.
I know this. I don't watch football. John Madden should know this.
Madden: The neutral zone is the length of the football. So that means that, even before someone jumped offsides, that some part of his body was lined up in that zone.
wow. John could have used any of 4 things to figure out that that's not true.
1) the refs had a long huddle before they made the call. Clearly, there was something to discuss. John correctly said that one ref saw one thing, while the other saw something else. let's combine this with...
2) the replay showed that a defensive player jumped offsides, but before the ball was snapped, his offensive counterpart also moved.
3) John Madden has an ear piece that connects him to a whole slew of people inside the NBC studios. perhaps one of them could have mentioned the rule.
4) he could have just known the rule, like I do. I remember when this rule was added. It was about a decade ago!
For the record. If a defensive player flinches/jumps and by doing so goes into the neutral zone, and THEN the offensive player commits a false start, it's ruled a defensive penalty. By going into the neutral zone, it would be unfair for the offensive player to continue to not move. He's allowed to assume the play is starting. If the defender had jumped, but stayed on his side of the ball (i.e. NOT in the neutral zone), and the offensive player flinched, it would be a false start.
I know this. I don't watch football. John Madden should know this.
1) A commercial for the video game "rock band" that shows neither the unique game play nor the instruments that come with it. It's just the trailer/cut scene of the band on the van driving to their next gig. If you don't already know about the game, then you would have NO idea what it's about. And if you do already know about the game, then this commercial adds nothing. Here's how the commercial should have gone: starts with the video game version of the players on stage....pull back to the game play......pull back to a couple of kids jamming on guitars...pull back to a grandmother on drums. done and done.
2) some movie on starz: the "commercial" is of two guys. One guy names a famous person, and the second guy says "he's dead". Eventually they get to Steve Martin, and they argue as to whether or not he's dead. Then one guy mentions that he's currently in a movie with Tim Allen. "Tim Allen? He's dead too". So this commercial is attempting to get me to watch a movie that stars two guys who are so hot right now that it's undetermined whether or not they are still living?
3) Sirius - Things that used to be used to listen to music fall like a chain of dominoes. Cassettes, cds, jute boxes, lp players, ipods, etc etc. Then at the very very end, they show a stiletto and say that you'll forget how you used to listen (or something like that).
Here's how a sirius commercial should go: "We have 100 stations dedicated to COMMERCIAL FREE music. From genres as broad as "top 40 hits" to as narrow as a station dedicated exclusively to Bruce Spingsteen. You'll have the ability to record stations or songs at the click of a button. We have original programs such as HOWARD STERN and Martha Stewart, we have NFL FOOTBALL GAMES for every team. And oh yeah, you know how mp3 players let you store your music for on the go? We do that too."
2) some movie on starz: the "commercial" is of two guys. One guy names a famous person, and the second guy says "he's dead". Eventually they get to Steve Martin, and they argue as to whether or not he's dead. Then one guy mentions that he's currently in a movie with Tim Allen. "Tim Allen? He's dead too". So this commercial is attempting to get me to watch a movie that stars two guys who are so hot right now that it's undetermined whether or not they are still living?
3) Sirius - Things that used to be used to listen to music fall like a chain of dominoes. Cassettes, cds, jute boxes, lp players, ipods, etc etc. Then at the very very end, they show a stiletto and say that you'll forget how you used to listen (or something like that).
Here's how a sirius commercial should go: "We have 100 stations dedicated to COMMERCIAL FREE music. From genres as broad as "top 40 hits" to as narrow as a station dedicated exclusively to Bruce Spingsteen. You'll have the ability to record stations or songs at the click of a button. We have original programs such as HOWARD STERN and Martha Stewart, we have NFL FOOTBALL GAMES for every team. And oh yeah, you know how mp3 players let you store your music for on the go? We do that too."
Hester was a good returner before the game today. The Broncos knew this. But after scoring two touch downs (one by punt, and one by regular kickoff), he must have gotten "better", b/c Denver decided to stop kicking to him. It's amazing how a player could actually get better DURING a game. I mean, that's the only logical reason for why a team would change strategy like that, right? It's weird that he was just "normal good" to start, and then "so good that we can't even kick to him good" after.
Never mind the fact that he also muffed TWO kicks in the game as well.
Never mind the fact that he also muffed TWO kicks in the game as well.
They still feel comfortable calling A-Rod "Slap-Rod" even though Pedroia clearly attempted the same type of play in the ALCS. You know, I can't even blame Red Sox fans, as the entire country rags on A-Rod for his play.
Is it a smart play? No. Is it honorable? Probably not. But if anyone other than Arod does it, it goes virtually unnoticed. I mean, this story just writes itself, as Arod did it AGAINST BOSTON in the same round of the playoffs!! It's a "callback"!
This is a test to see if the font is different when I actually go to the "Edit Blog" page. Lazily, I type most of my posts in firefox's little icon that instantly pulls up a tab to type in my blog. But I really dislike the font that comes with it, and I can't figure out how to change it. This post is done old school. Let's see if it's noticeably different.
Today's the day that I go through all my old emails that I have left as "unread" b/c I didn't have the time to fully digest them. They're a combination of rants from other people, and reminders i've emailed myself. The oldest one is from September (!). When I read this over (mind you, there was no "note to self" aspect w/ it, just the actual pasted quote), I couldn't tell what made me so angry. Let's see if you can guess:
Obviously, Kay believing that a pitcher actually has an ability to win 17 games in a vacuum is stupid, but not original. Have you gotten it yet? Kay specifically says that Johnson (and a portion of his 17 wins) would have been an asset when the Yankees were struggling EARLY IN THE SEASON. When Randy Johnson was traded, it was 100% certain that he would be starting the season on the DL!!!! Randy Johnson, even the 1999 version of him, could not have helped in April or May because he was physically unable to play!
Michael Kay evaluated the offseason trade of Randy Johnson, and saw a "17 game winner" but failed to notice "will start the season on the DL". And he gets paid money!
Dear Mr. Kay,
I have long been an admirer of your commentary and the sense of humor you bring to the telecasts.
Having also listened to your radio program in the past, I recall that your initial take on the Randy Johnson trade to Arizona was far from favorable. You seemed to believe that because Johnson won 17 games with a 5.00 ERA, there was something magic about his ability to win. You seemed to think that his veteran ability to win games despite giving up oodles of runs was a talent no other pitcher could match. It seems from what we now know that a) Johnson wasn't exactly a clubhouse leader and his "veteran" presence certainly didn't do much to mentor other Yankees; and b) a young talented arm is more helpful to achieving playoff aspirations than having a grumpy, over-the-hill veteran soaking up innings.
You have certainly in recent weeks praised the Johnson trade, but in full candor to your listeners perhaps you should not give the impression that at the time of the trade you were gung ho in favor of it. In hindsight, the Yankees would have "won" the trade even if all they received was Russ Ohlendorf.
Anyway, keep up the good work.
Roger B. Calistro — New York, N.Y.
Dear Mr. Calistro,
I did not like the trade at first because I did not like giving up a 17-game winner. I also knew that he was not a leader or a favorite in the clubhouse, but the trade is now a good one because Johnson went down with a bad back. If he had not, the Yankees could have used those 17 wins and probably would not have gotten off to such a terrible start and might be in first place today. But in hindsight, and also learning afterward that he wanted no part of playing in New York, I think Brian Cashman pulled off a really good deal when he had absolutely no leverage.
Obviously, Kay believing that a pitcher actually has an ability to win 17 games in a vacuum is stupid, but not original. Have you gotten it yet? Kay specifically says that Johnson (and a portion of his 17 wins) would have been an asset when the Yankees were struggling EARLY IN THE SEASON. When Randy Johnson was traded, it was 100% certain that he would be starting the season on the DL!!!! Randy Johnson, even the 1999 version of him, could not have helped in April or May because he was physically unable to play!
Michael Kay evaluated the offseason trade of Randy Johnson, and saw a "17 game winner" but failed to notice "will start the season on the DL". And he gets paid money!
Can I really be saying that? We've had Michael Scott "carbo load" right before a race by eating a big plate of pasta and then not drinking water; we've had Michael Scott knowingly and willingly drive into a lake b/c a GPS device told him to; we've had Michael and Dwight try to commit vandalism on a sister office; we've had a pizza boy kidnapped (side rant: when he wouldn't accept the coupon, that was michael's out to not accept the pizza that he didn't want anyway!); and we've had other things that i can't even remember b/c i've blacked them out.
But in this episode, the plot actually confused me b/c it made no sense.
Jan is suing for wrongful termination which is based in part on sexual harrassment. She worked in Corporate. Her boyfriend / manager of a branch would have NO knowledge of what was going on in Corporate. Things were added to the deposition that only existed for the benefit of a joke. jan/plaintiff was arguing that her performance evaluations of Michael got better once they started going out. Uh, that would be DEFENDANT'S argument, as she was allowing personal relationships to prevent her from doing her job. Michael's personal diary gets admitted into evidence and everyone gets a print out of it? Huh?
actually, i'm not finishing my thought. This show is terrible. TERRIBLE. such lazy writing.
But in this episode, the plot actually confused me b/c it made no sense.
Jan is suing for wrongful termination which is based in part on sexual harrassment. She worked in Corporate. Her boyfriend / manager of a branch would have NO knowledge of what was going on in Corporate. Things were added to the deposition that only existed for the benefit of a joke. jan/plaintiff was arguing that her performance evaluations of Michael got better once they started going out. Uh, that would be DEFENDANT'S argument, as she was allowing personal relationships to prevent her from doing her job. Michael's personal diary gets admitted into evidence and everyone gets a print out of it? Huh?
actually, i'm not finishing my thought. This show is terrible. TERRIBLE. such lazy writing.
Ever since my Goldeneye days, I've had a reputation for being a wimp when it comes to FPS. I'm currently on a board in RE4 where it's really dark outside and I can't see anything. So instead of actually walking around and taking my chances, I'll wait until one of the zombies sees me and then run back to my hiding place. Since zombies walk really slow, i have to wait and wait and wait until they finally catch up to me, where i'm waiting to cherry pick them off.
It's very boring, but very effective.
It's very boring, but very effective.
With 2 minutes and change left in the first half, the Giants had a 2nd and 17 deep in their own territory. They ran the ball, and with 2:03 seconds left the Cowboys had two options:
1) Let the clock run down to the 2 minute warning. It would then be 3rd and 20 with 2 minutes left and all 3 of their timeouts remaining.
2) Take a time out. It would then be 3rd and 20 with 2:03 left in the half and they would have 2 timeouts remaining.
CW says you go with option #2. "You try and squeeze in another play before the two minute warning." Huh? Why?
The only way the Giants are going to get a first down in a 3rd/20 situation is if they pass. But, teams don't pass late in those situations because you don't want to stop the clock for the other team (who will probably be getting the ball back anyway).
However, with only 3 seconds left before the two minute warning, there is no "danger" in stopping the clock for the Cowboys, because the clock IS going to be stopped AUTOMATICALLY. Even if a pass play were to take less than three seconds (unlikely), the clock would then be stopped on the next play, because of a change of possession.
So the Cowboys removed any risk for the Giants in terms of whether they should pass in that situation. So OF COURSE the Giants might as well take the chance. And what if they did get lucky and get a first down? Then it would be the Giants, not the Cowboys, who would be running the two minute drill.
Essentially then, the Cowboys would have used a timeout for the Giants benefit. That's why you wait until as long as possible before you decide whether to use your timeouts. With each play in a half, you gain more knowledge. You use the timeout after 3rd down instead of after 2nd down because it removes the chance that the offense gets a first down on 3rd down.
Why don't teams see this? Why did the Cowboys risk a Giants 1st down for a measly three seconds? Oh, because that's what the book says. And if you go against the book, you run the risk of being publicly shamed by the two yahoos in the booth (who, btw, questioned why the Giants would "risk" throwing a pass on third down...ha!)
And while I'm stewing over yet another example of poor time management, another CW hits me in the face. Teams are super-duper-scared to try and move the ball at the end of the half, when in fact it's the best time to spread the offense.
With 20 something seconds left, the Giants were going to run the ball out and go into the half down by 3. Yeah, why bother trying to score when there's a chance you can turn the ball over. Mind you, after a 15 yard taunting penalty (which in itself, is a sign that mankind is far from evolved), the Giants were near midfield and one play away from getting into field goal position.
Why do teams run out the clock at the end of the first half? Again, it's out of fear of being second guessed. If, by chance, a turnover DOES occur in that situation, and the other team scores, the coach will be blasted for the decision. And the goal in life isn't to make good decisions, it's to make popular decisions.
But think about it, the biggest risk for deep passing has been removed: field position is of no concern late in the half. A QB who KNOWS not to throw an INT, and doesn't have to worry about losing field position with a sack is still a very dangerous weapon. In some ways, he's even more dangerous because he can sit back a little longer waiting for the perfect play to present itself. And in a worst case scenario, you can still throw a hail mary / jump ball even if you can't reach the endzone. If your guy catches it at the 5, you call time out and kick a field goal. If the other team catches it and falls down, then they'll take a knee to end the half. As long as you set it up properly, and as long as your players are on board in terms of not taking unnecessary risks, there's NO reason to sit on the ball at the end of the half. Can you imagine a team in the middle of third quarter running out the clock b/c they are afraid to turn the ball over? Of course not, b/c professionals should be able to achieve the goal of "not turn the ball over" if they are really trying to accomplish JUST that.
1) Let the clock run down to the 2 minute warning. It would then be 3rd and 20 with 2 minutes left and all 3 of their timeouts remaining.
2) Take a time out. It would then be 3rd and 20 with 2:03 left in the half and they would have 2 timeouts remaining.
CW says you go with option #2. "You try and squeeze in another play before the two minute warning." Huh? Why?
The only way the Giants are going to get a first down in a 3rd/20 situation is if they pass. But, teams don't pass late in those situations because you don't want to stop the clock for the other team (who will probably be getting the ball back anyway).
However, with only 3 seconds left before the two minute warning, there is no "danger" in stopping the clock for the Cowboys, because the clock IS going to be stopped AUTOMATICALLY. Even if a pass play were to take less than three seconds (unlikely), the clock would then be stopped on the next play, because of a change of possession.
So the Cowboys removed any risk for the Giants in terms of whether they should pass in that situation. So OF COURSE the Giants might as well take the chance. And what if they did get lucky and get a first down? Then it would be the Giants, not the Cowboys, who would be running the two minute drill.
Essentially then, the Cowboys would have used a timeout for the Giants benefit. That's why you wait until as long as possible before you decide whether to use your timeouts. With each play in a half, you gain more knowledge. You use the timeout after 3rd down instead of after 2nd down because it removes the chance that the offense gets a first down on 3rd down.
Why don't teams see this? Why did the Cowboys risk a Giants 1st down for a measly three seconds? Oh, because that's what the book says. And if you go against the book, you run the risk of being publicly shamed by the two yahoos in the booth (who, btw, questioned why the Giants would "risk" throwing a pass on third down...ha!)
And while I'm stewing over yet another example of poor time management, another CW hits me in the face. Teams are super-duper-scared to try and move the ball at the end of the half, when in fact it's the best time to spread the offense.
With 20 something seconds left, the Giants were going to run the ball out and go into the half down by 3. Yeah, why bother trying to score when there's a chance you can turn the ball over. Mind you, after a 15 yard taunting penalty (which in itself, is a sign that mankind is far from evolved), the Giants were near midfield and one play away from getting into field goal position.
Why do teams run out the clock at the end of the first half? Again, it's out of fear of being second guessed. If, by chance, a turnover DOES occur in that situation, and the other team scores, the coach will be blasted for the decision. And the goal in life isn't to make good decisions, it's to make popular decisions.
But think about it, the biggest risk for deep passing has been removed: field position is of no concern late in the half. A QB who KNOWS not to throw an INT, and doesn't have to worry about losing field position with a sack is still a very dangerous weapon. In some ways, he's even more dangerous because he can sit back a little longer waiting for the perfect play to present itself. And in a worst case scenario, you can still throw a hail mary / jump ball even if you can't reach the endzone. If your guy catches it at the 5, you call time out and kick a field goal. If the other team catches it and falls down, then they'll take a knee to end the half. As long as you set it up properly, and as long as your players are on board in terms of not taking unnecessary risks, there's NO reason to sit on the ball at the end of the half. Can you imagine a team in the middle of third quarter running out the clock b/c they are afraid to turn the ball over? Of course not, b/c professionals should be able to achieve the goal of "not turn the ball over" if they are really trying to accomplish JUST that.
The Giants are wearing red today for two reasons (according to chris berman).
1) For the college like atmosphere (they are asking fans to wear red too).
2) For the pyschological advantage of having Romo "see the rush coming".
Is it possible that a defense that has a Jersey that blends in with the field / surroundings might be better? If I'm looking downfield, I'll avoid red jerseys, but maybe a light green jersey doesn't catch my eye.
Nah.
1) For the college like atmosphere (they are asking fans to wear red too).
2) For the pyschological advantage of having Romo "see the rush coming".
Is it possible that a defense that has a Jersey that blends in with the field / surroundings might be better? If I'm looking downfield, I'll avoid red jerseys, but maybe a light green jersey doesn't catch my eye.
Nah.
the saying really annoys me, but when I hear someone say it, I can't think of an equally efficient alternative. what else would fit?
But since I can't ever tell this story again, b/c it kills me, here it goes for one last time.
After the perfect tailgate, we made our way into the stadium EARLY in order to catch Roger Clemens warming up in the bullpen. We also were able to sneak in a bag of those delicious Cheddar 'n BBQ Doritos so I was on top of the world.
Then, two guys slid into our row of bleachers, and were going to need to step over us. However, they suggested that we could just slide over into their seats. As we got up to slide, I started to talk to them and happened to mention *bam ball right in front of my face*
That's how quick it happened. I saw a ball in front of my face, i stuck my hand out, and it bounced out of my palm. Totally catchable. Mine to lose. And I lost it. The last ball that Roger Clemens will ever warm up with touched my hand and I dropped it. Did I not put a 2nd hand on it because I was holding the chips? Was I too distracted by those guys? Was I just too drunk? In my defense, the guy I went with didn't even put his hands up. But that didn't stop him from punching me for dropping the ball.
If I find out that ball is worth a lot of money, i'll be even more crushed.
After the perfect tailgate, we made our way into the stadium EARLY in order to catch Roger Clemens warming up in the bullpen. We also were able to sneak in a bag of those delicious Cheddar 'n BBQ Doritos so I was on top of the world.
Then, two guys slid into our row of bleachers, and were going to need to step over us. However, they suggested that we could just slide over into their seats. As we got up to slide, I started to talk to them and happened to mention *bam ball right in front of my face*
That's how quick it happened. I saw a ball in front of my face, i stuck my hand out, and it bounced out of my palm. Totally catchable. Mine to lose. And I lost it. The last ball that Roger Clemens will ever warm up with touched my hand and I dropped it. Did I not put a 2nd hand on it because I was holding the chips? Was I too distracted by those guys? Was I just too drunk? In my defense, the guy I went with didn't even put his hands up. But that didn't stop him from punching me for dropping the ball.
If I find out that ball is worth a lot of money, i'll be even more crushed.
I wasn't expecting Shakespeare when I watched this movie, but sometimes writers can be so insulting that I feel like they are pulling a joke on me. In STF, the main character starts to fall for a "rebel baker". I guess she's what Hollywood idiots think a "liberal" is....crazy tattoos, scatter brained, refusing to pay taxes, etc. Anyway, the main character asks her when she realized she wanted to be a baker and her answer was "college". That lead to this exchange:
Oh, what kind of college, cullinary?
No, actually, I went to Harvard Law.
Oh, I didn't know, I'm sorry... I
Don't worry, it's alright. Anyway, I barely got into law school, and then...
She then proceeds to tell this "touching" story about how she kept baking for her study groups and everyone loved the cookies and it made her happy to make other people happy, but her grades suffered.
Do you see the problem with this? Nobody would call Havard LAW "college". It's not a college. It's a lawschool. But if she didn't answer "college", he couldn't have confused it with a culinary school.
"when did you know you want to be a baker?"
"oh, in law school"
"hmm, interesting. Go on."
doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it? Plus, it also has to drive home the point that she was smart enough to do anything, but chose to be a baker. That's why the character has to apologize for assuming it was culinary school, as though that's something to be ashamed of. I mean, she wound up a baker! culinary school would be the ideal school to go to if that was your eventual goal.
and now that i think about it, since the original question was "when did you know?" the main character is an idiot for assuming college meant culinary school. If you go to culinary school, you probably ALREADY know that you want to be some type of chef.
Man, that one line of dialog really rubbed me the wrong way.
Oh, what kind of college, cullinary?
No, actually, I went to Harvard Law.
Oh, I didn't know, I'm sorry... I
Don't worry, it's alright. Anyway, I barely got into law school, and then...
She then proceeds to tell this "touching" story about how she kept baking for her study groups and everyone loved the cookies and it made her happy to make other people happy, but her grades suffered.
Do you see the problem with this? Nobody would call Havard LAW "college". It's not a college. It's a lawschool. But if she didn't answer "college", he couldn't have confused it with a culinary school.
"when did you know you want to be a baker?"
"oh, in law school"
"hmm, interesting. Go on."
doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it? Plus, it also has to drive home the point that she was smart enough to do anything, but chose to be a baker. That's why the character has to apologize for assuming it was culinary school, as though that's something to be ashamed of. I mean, she wound up a baker! culinary school would be the ideal school to go to if that was your eventual goal.
and now that i think about it, since the original question was "when did you know?" the main character is an idiot for assuming college meant culinary school. If you go to culinary school, you probably ALREADY know that you want to be some type of chef.
Man, that one line of dialog really rubbed me the wrong way.
Average/On Base/Slugging
2007 ALDS .176/.176/.176 [0 runs, 1 rbi in 4 games]
2004 ALCS .200/.333/.233 [5 runs, 5 rbi in 7 games]
2003 ALCS .233/.281/.400 [3 runs, 2 rbi in 7 games]
2001 WS .148/.179/.259 [3 runs, 1 rbi in 7 games]
2001 ALCS .118/.200/.118 [0 runs, 2 rbi in 5 games]
2000 ALDS .211/.318/.211 [1 runs, 2 rbi in 5 games]
1998 ALCS .200/.259/.320 [3 runs, 2 rbi in 6 games]
1998 ALDS .111/.273/.111 [0 runs, 0 rbi in 3 games]
1996 WS .250/.400/.250 [5 runs, 1 rbi in 6 games]
