Three's Company on the Sunset Strip [Studio 60 jumps the shark]  


Well, I send out emails to people trying to convince them to watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. I trumpet it as a wity drama that discusses politics, religion, corporations, etc in an intelligent manner. Then it goes on hiatus. Then it comes back reaking of mediocrity.

Guy asks girl out. Girl says yes. Guy's boss then says he has to go on a fake date with another girl in order to [oh heck, it doesn't matter WHY he has to do this. all you need to know is that his boss ordered him to go on a fake date].

Does the Guy A) tell the girl the truth and reschedule the date? or B) lie about why he has to back out of the date and cross his fingers that she's not going to find out?

How does this compelling saga end? Well, if you guessed that the girl would be at the function and wind up seeing guy on this "date", you must have watched Three's Company, the forefather of storylines based entirely on a stupid misunderstanding.

Oh, and the other couple we are supposed to care about got locked on a roof and couldn't get cell phone reception.

Good bye studio 60. I won't care when you get cancelled now.

well, now i feel like removing that last post  


according to marksfriggin, here's what happened an hour before the omlette encounter

Artie's mouth was full of cookies but he tried talking about that until Howard told him to finish chewing.
Artie said that he almost drove himself to a psychiatric hospital yesterday. He said he went home, went to sleep and then got up around 7. He had a nice dinner and then went to bed but he kept eating the leftovers he had. He had breaded chicken cutlets and two slices of pizza. He said he loads up on shit just so he has it in his apartment. He said that he ate the chicken and the pizza and he's back to drinking soda as well. Then he needed something chocolate so he got three Hershey bars.
Artie said he had gotten some of those huge Hershey bars and put them in the microwave to warm them up because they had been in the refrigerator. He heated it perfectly to where they were soft in the middle and hard on the sides. He was eating it with a spoon and almost started to cry because he couldn't stop eating it. He said that he has to eat so he doesn't think about any drugs or anything like that.
Howard said that he had a bowl of shredded wheat when he got hungry. Artie said he wouldn't even know where to get shredded wheat. Robin told Artie he really needs to get help with that. He has to figure out why he has to do that stuff. Howard said the shrink will make him figure out why he has to fill himself with that stuff. He said that maybe his parents did something that makes him want to do that stuff.
Artie said that he almost started to cry when he was eating that chocolate. He joked that he was still overwhelmed by the gas leak thing. He said he went to sleep after that so Howard asked him if he got the runs after eating that. Artie said he took the paper into the bathroom with him and read the story about how Dallas had lost because he wanted to read that again. He said that it's pretty awful after eating chocolate like that because it splatters all over the toilet. He figures that Dana ducked a bullet by not staying with him.

I feel Artie Lange's Pain  


I knew I was in trouble when I put Stern on while getting ready for work. The show is so good that I wind up not being able to turn it off. Today was extra troubling because after the live broadcast, they are replaying the first show (1/9/06) and then another show w/ the 10 best clips of all time. In other words, if there was something good on in the morning, there was not necessarily going to be a chance to catch a replay of it.


I'm sure the majority of listeners did not enjoy this little moment as much as I did, but to me, this is the reason why I listen every morning. As you know, Artie is battling an ongoing weight problem. Well, that's not enitrely accurate, as at this point, he basically waiving the white flag and admitting defeat. The closest he's come to dieting is giving up Soda for New Years (and switching to Hi/C fruit punch.

Stern and the rest of the group have poetically bounced back and forth between "tough love" and "morbid curiosity". They tell Artie he has a problem, and try to get him to slow down, while also enjoying the disgusting display of glutiny. You can't help but feel bad for Artie, while simultaneously laughing at his plite.

This morning, in honor of their first year on the air, Sirius brought in a breakfast buffet for the show.

Gary barked into his microphone that the food was going fast, and that anyone on the air who wanted something should put the order in now.

While looking at video of the buffet, Artie commented on how nice the ommlette station looked. He started to hint that he wanted an omlette made for him when Howard cut him off (not intentionally, he just started talking) and told Gary that it was nice of him to offer, but everyone outside the studio should enjoy the breakfast.

Artie then got quiet. Gary then got very motherly and directly asked Artie if he would like something. Artie was shy, but Gary forced it out of him that he'd enjoy a cheese omlette. "How about i make you a nice little dish, would you like that? The omlette, a little bacon, maybe a bagel." Artie perked right up and got excited.

Howard then jumped in and encouraged Artie to eat. "Gary, make it extra cheese, my boy needs his nurishment." I think Howard got the vibe that Artie was embarassed about making the food request, and was trying to make it easier on him (by making a joke of it).

Then, 30 seconds later, Howard goes "wait, you don't want the bagel too, do you? Didn't I already see you eat a bagel this morning? Don't you feel disgusting eating two bagels for breakfast?"

Artie couldn't defend himself. His pain is my pleasure.

Dr. Emily Senay is an idiot  


[i'm in italics]

Correlation does NOT equal causation.

Can Diet Soda Make You Gain Weight?

NEW YORK, Jan. 4, 2007
(CBS) For many people there's only one real reason to drink diet soda.

1) To not consume the calories that are in regular soda, 2) for diabetics to avoid the sugar in regular soda. Whoops, that's two.

"Because it's got no calories and, yeah, you try to watch your weight," says Raymond Tomczak.

But, as The Early Show medical correspondent Dr. Emily Senay reports, some experts are now saying diet soda may be doing the exact opposite: making them gain weight.

Diet soda makes you gain weight. that's Dr. Senay's conclusion after reading the reports. Mind you, she's not even doing any studies herself. All she has to do is have the ability to READ what OTHER experts are saying.

Epidemiologist Sharon Fowler, from the University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio, presented research data on soda consumption to the American Diabetes Association.

"What we saw was that the more diet sodas a person drinks, the more weight they were likely to gain," she says.

All other things being equal? no, it doesn't say that. Dr. Emily Senay must also think that smoking pot leads to doing heroin, b/c all heroin addicts tried weed at one point. They all also tried milk at some point, so Dr. Emily must conclude that Milk ---> heroin

That finding was a big surprise, but it reflected what nutritionist Melainie Rogers saw in her work with obese patients in New York.

"When we would switch them on to diet soda off regular soda, we weren't seeing weight loss necessarily, and that was confusing to us," Rogers says.

and were these subjects forced to keep everything else the same? or was it just a "hey guys, instead of drinking regular soda, drink diet."

But why would diet soda make some people gain weight? There are only theories at this point but it may be as simple as people consciously eating more because they think they can.

So, does Dr. Emily conclude that diet soda alters your brain to make you CONSCIOUSLY eat more?

Khristianne Corro says, "If I'm having one of those pig out days, then yeah, I figure maybe it'll balance it out a little bit."

Wow, those brain altering drugs in diet soda are really strong.

And Tomczak says, "I'm drinking the diet soda and you know let me have that hamburger and fries, instead of just the hamburger alone."

Hey, Dr. Emily, you stupid retard, maybe it's the FRIES that are causing the people to gain weight (or to not lose weight), not the diet soda.

Researchers say physiology may also play a role.

Diet soda has physiology as an ingredient?

"When I put anything to my stomach that's not water then my stomach responds by increasing the gastric acid secretion," Fowler says. "Does that increase my sense of hunger and does that drive me to eat more?"

Since when are questions the same as conclusions. That's a question that needs to be studied. The title of this article should be "we don't know anything", but that would scare the soccer moms as much.

If diet soda really doesn't take the weight off, it wouldn't be the first time a diet product failed to perform as expected.

Has anyone made the claim that diet soda takes weight off? It doesn't have NEGATIVE calories.

"You know, much the same as when we went through the fat free craze, people overate – not because there was anything wrong with the products, but they overate," says Rogers, the nutritionist. "So we're wondering are we seeing a similar phenomenon with the diet soda."

Look at that...."not because there was anything wrong with the products". Go back and read the title of this article. Where is there any evidence of people gaining weight FROM drinking diet soda?

There are still plenty of questions that researchers need to answer. For instance, are these results associated with all artificial sweeteners? Or just certain ones?

But that won't stop Dr. Emily from reporting!

And of course, it's all just a theory until larger controlled studies can be done, but the early findings are fascinating.

I haven't seen anything fascinating yet, and we are close to the end of the article.

In the meantime, there are alternatives for people who are trying to lose weight.

There's juice and water or coffee and tea. Dr. Senay says the one thing to take away from this is moderation. Whatever you put in your mouth, don't overdo it. A diet product won't really help you lose weight if you're still getting too many calories from other foods.

Dr. Senay, you genius. What a great conclusion. "drinking diet soda, a product that was never intended to help you LOSE weight, won't help you lose weight."

how does water help? people who drink water will probably have the same conscious and pyschological problems of overeating that diet soda drinkers suffer from.

dr. senay is RETARDED.

i always thought i owned an atari 2600  


color my surprised.