potato(e) salad, continued  


maria wrote me an email in response to my retort of her comment. here is my counter to the response to the retort. follow that? her lines have a < next to them.

> theres only one thing that i physically cant eat and
> its hard boiled
> egg....ugh.

Already i'm perplexed. I've seen you eat sandwiches
at school with egg on them (i think). I know you eat
omlettes (some weird version made your last meal
list). Is a hard boiled egg really THAT different
than a normally cooked egg? fine, they might not be
identical, but i can't imagine hating one and loving
the other (then again, the real maria hates uncooked
cheese but LOVES melted cheese). Regardless, even
though your first sentence has me thrown off, it's not
that out there...

> maybe the yellow inside but definitely
> noot the white...makes
> my stomach turn jsut thinking about it.

well, never ever in a million years would i ever even
consider meeting a person who was disgusted by the
white part but who liked the yolk. Impossible. The
white is "plain" while the yellow part has a weird
gritty texture and is dry and smells. And, you have
to know it's the unhealthy party, so pyschologically
you shouldn't like it. and yet this is the part you
could tolerate? I DARE you to find someone who agrees
with you.

> and the
> "surprise" is the worst
> part about it b/c i would just pick out and eat the
> potatoe but what if i
> mess up....

did you spell potato that way just to be a dick? If
so, well played, mr quayle, well played. #.

>the outcome would not be pleasant...esp
> for an emetophobic such
> as myself.

here's where i tip my cap to you. as i was reading, i
was all ready to throw a response to you with respects
to yoru phobia. I spent a bunch of time on that
website and people's stories were so funny about
avoiding any food that might cause trouble or
constantly checking the milk date. The way you were
able to tie past conversations into this email makes
me suspect that you might actually be paying

> im sure mrs x has a wonderful salad and
> i apologize if i
> sounded rude, but its the only thing im a picky
> eater about, all else is
> fair game. naturaly, since its been so hyped up i
> will have to try some of
> it anyway.

you have the heart of a champion. Even though i have
nothing to do with it, i almost feel "proud" that
you'd still give it a shot. You really are the

> btw: egg salad has too much egg...

that's what i was trying to get at in my post. egg
salad does have too much egg. there's no better way to
say it. that's why you have to put it on toast or
something instead of being able to eat it plain.

>and celery in
> potato salad, now that im a
> fan of...so crispy and refreshing.

celery litterally pisses me off. if it's possible to
hate a vegtable, then consider it a full fledged feud.
It ruins otherwise good dishes. If i wanted crunch,
i'd have crunch. Slight crunches in an otherwise
smooth dish. It's the same reason i HATE mm's or nuts
in my ice cream. It ruins the "flow" of the meal.

> i hope if anyone
> were eating their last
> death row dinner with me that they dont order egg
> salad...the smell would
> take over the room.

the visual of you being disgusted during your last
meal makes me want to frame you for murder.


now, you in glasses has to take a back seat to you
using the word blech. YOU being disgusted and bitter
is just ridiculous.

>even worse if they
> wear braces.

wonka wonka

> later

i concur.

"you ruined that potato salda with the chunks of egg" - maria  


It's been said that I'm intolerant of ignorance. That, instead of just letting things go with a simple "she doesn't know what she's talking about" i have to keep arguing until I'm blue in the face. Well, a rant on the pros and cons of eggs in a potato salad should squash such rumors.

It's great. It's better than great, it DEFINES the potato salad. Now, I like potato salad generally. My grandmother's isn't half bad (as long as I can talk her out of the chunks of celery). But, after having mrs. x's salad at steve's graduation party, i'm "ruined" for all other salads. and it is 100% because of the egg.

Who doesn't like egg salad? It's so juicy and delicious. The ONLY complaint about egg salad is that maybe it's "too much". Too much of what, i'm not sure. But, i can sort of see how it's a little overpowering. So, the mrs. x salad is perfect. Since they both have the same base (mayo) the combo is logical. And the BEST part is that chunks of eggs look like chunks of potato. With a high potato to egg ratio, you have to expect that the chunk on your fork is potato. But is it? Only time will tell. And then, on those rare instances where you bite down and are surprised by a chunk of egg, it's like winning the lottery. She puts the EXACT amount of egg in there. Any more and it would be less exciting to get a chunk. Any less, and it would be so rare that you wouldn't even be looking forward to it.

I don't have much to look foward in life, but those rare instances of getting a chunk of egg is definitely near to the top of that short list.

i'm lovin' it  


i'm stealing this link from mary's away message:


"we committed no crime but living"  


There was a time when i still had hope for wrestling. In my last true mark-out moment, I remember noticing that everyone in the WWF ring were all alumni from ECW. And then they united to form a rebel alliance that would propel amazing storylines for months (actually, steve and I wrote out about 2 years worth of storylines based on this one moment). Then, after the phone calls had been made and the emails had been written, as Raw was going off the air, the entire angle was ruined by having stephanie mcmahon take over the ECW revolution from Paul Heyman. Wrestling was officially dead to me at that point (although I tried to hang on for netcop's sake for awhile longer). And to be honest, a little part of me died inside too as one of my few joys in life was ruined. Tonight, I mourn yet another loss, as Real World has officially become a walking cliche.

Now, before I rant, i have to admit that i was thoroughly entertained by tonight's episode. Pound for pound, it provided non stop entertainment. But at what cost? Watching an old lady outside your house slip on the ice and thrash in agony provides a great laugh, but you feel dirty afterwards. Oh wait, no you don't. That's a bad example. Anyway, ever since the Hawaii Season, Real world has been spiraling out of control. Every new season has to adhere to these simple rules:

1) Under no circumstance can there be a normal looking person on the show. I wanted to state the rule as "everyone has to be hot" but that's not necessarily true. Every once in a blue moon, a freak is allowed to be on the show (see: franky).

2) Tons and tons of alcohol have to be consumed. In order to acomplish this, you have to give them a meaningless job to provide with tons of free time. Remember when the cast would work with underpriviledged kids? Well, that's been replaced with working at clubs in vegas or pretending to write reviews for a travel book. I absolutely respect the fact that this new cast always has a 40 in their hands, but we've had how many episodes so far (4?) and each one has been dominated by what happens when someone gets really drunk. Of course "interesting" things happen to drunk people. But it's a shallow attempt at trying to show real human emotion. Why not shoot everyone up with crystal meth and lock them in a room and see what happens.

3) Every cast member has to go in with the assumption that they will hook up with another cast member. Again this started after hawaii after storyline of that blonde who wired her mouth shut being into that other guy who i can't remember. Ever since then, it's almost a given that there will be at least one pairing. The real world has now become more of a dating reality show, and i think it's pretty clear that 1 and 2 have helped contribute to 3 being so successful.

Well, when the casting directors continue to find the most extreme examples of the above characteristics, is there any doubt as to the disasterous results. There was a time where a drunk driving ruthie had the entire staff concerned. Now, it's as though MTV was enouraging the underage drinking. What would have happened if SB (southern belle, i don't know her name) MH (morehouse college kid) got into the bar, drank too much and wound up dieing. Couldn't MTV be held liable for their role in this illegal activity? At the very least, they shouldn't be encouraging this type of behavior. SB has no redeeming qualities. She fails a boat test one week, and then, when she's not able to sweet talk her way into the bar, doesn't even know her address to get home. Stop and think about that for a second. She was whining "i don't even know how to get home." Retards can find their way home. Dogs can find their way home even if being dropped off in a different state. Retarded dogs? well, they just drool a lot.

and what drives me crazy about Real World is that the talking head parts never match up with what really happens. If i was an editor, i'd show the actual action first, then have the talking head jump in and say the exact opposite of what she did, and then cut back to the action. Confused? The wannabe tough girl went on and on saying how she was in charge of the SB and how she was ok with looking out for her. A big sister if you will. Well, as soon as SB can't get into the bar, does she go home with her? No, she talks down to her, mocks sb's inability to get home (ok, i would have done that too), and then says "i can't hang out with you b/c i fight when i'm around you". Is that how you look out for someone?

oh, backtracking a bit, i have to bow in awe of the heckler who made the "fake world" comment to SB when she couldn't use her fake ID. BURN! that was even better than Sharpton's retort on the WMD comment. You had to be there (actually, i imagine 25% of the people reading this actually were there). And that was basically the extent of the heckling. Why WTG (wannabe tough girl) had to get all fired up and PUNCH the guy is beyond me. She thought she was so tough with her punch but all it showed was her arrogance. Fine, the punch didn't hurt the guy, but that doesn't make her actions any less primative. In fact, because her punch is obviously so weak and pointless, it almost makes her actions WORSE. She was so smug after she walked away. I took great satisfaction in how quickly she changed her tune once the cops were involved. "yes sir. No sir, all i did was push him away from me like this 'please get away from me'" then, after that doesn't work, she goes to the old stand by....tears. Did anyone else think of Rocky telling Mr. T. "oh, you aint so bad now"? oh, nevermind then.

End scene. And then begin new scene with the two guys being thrown out of the bar for being too drunk. And then you have brad dropping about 10 f bombs to some guy walking down the street and making fun of his hair. Again, really really tough. BTW, i completely love the fact that the crowd was anti real world. I heard the seattle cast had the same problem. As much as i watch the rw, i would do the same thing if our paths ever crossed. In a rare moment of editing genius, as brad and TOG (the other guy) go walking by the cop car a little bubble pops up adn says "robin's squad car". Oh my god, i actually know her name. It's ONLY b/c of that bubble. MTV should be really proud. They have one cast member in a squad car and another one about to get arrested. And how stupid must you be to have been given a warning by a cop and then continuing to talk. What a moron. And then after he has the cuffs on him he asks "what am i being arrested for?" but did it in such a tone that he was implying "i didn't do anything." Uh being drunk in public son. BURN II! "hey guys, they are all making fun of me, arrest them too". Jerk.

I have to say, as disgusted i am by the rw, the 5 minute scene of TOG coming home and explaining everything to everyone was a laugh riot. You had MH wearing a "free tibet, er, brad" shirt and TOG dropping some of the funniest lines i've EVER heard. "yo, we didn't step on no toez or anything." "if i know my boy right now, and i think i do, then he's ARRESTED". Then, trying to be serious for a second, he asks MH for help "I can't moob because i been drinking" and then he proceeds to basically pass out as MH is stuck cleaning up the mess.

If there was any doubt about MH being my favorite character in years, him pouring out some mickey for his fallen soldior sealed the deal. When SB wanted to pour out the whole thing, his response of "are you crazy? this is mickey. he's going to need this when he gets back" had me in hysterics. Well played, MH, well played.

Finally, I was really disturbed by how casual brad was taking the fact that he was arrested. Even if the charges don't stick, getting arrested is bad in and of itself. That will stay on your record. He'll have to fill that out on job applications. I've seen some drunken buffonery in my day, but nowhere near getting arrested. He should be disgusted with himself.

It will be interesting to see if Robin gets kicked off the show for using violence. There's a long precedent of cast members getting kicked off of shows for hitting. Then again, in a season where someone winds up getting RAPED off camera, I suppose all bets are off. Good job MTV in completely lowering the bar for what was once a good show but how since become a self parady.

I'm tired. I quit.

i wait a month for tuna to post, and that's what i get?  


it's not contradictary for dems to have said bush wasn't smart enough for foreign policy in 2000 and then say he's not smart enough for domestic policy in 2004. the overiding theme, and this can't be denied, is that he's an idiot.

the dallas mavericks are no good.  


everyone knows that. nba fast break told me that. right?

stay pregnant  


saw debra messing (grace from will&grace) from the neck up and thought "oh, she doesn't look so anerexic anymore. good for her." Then found out she's 12 months pregnant. It's good to see that an EXTRA PERSON almost makes her back to looking normal.

so good, it makes me want to kill...  


ever hear of a scotch egg? take a gander:

scotch eggs (boiled and packed in a sausage roll, battered and deep-fried and served with syrup)

where did i get this recipe you ask? from a list of last meals from people on death row in texas. here's the link:


rest assured that i'll be continuously updating throughout the day on some of the more unusual things requested. Some of the stuff is mindboggling.


Barnes, Jr. Odell 998 03/01/2000 Justice, Equality, World Peace

wait for it, wait for it.....  


oh man, i know i was angry about something earlier tonight, but i was too lazy to get out of bed to write. now i can't remember. i'm hoping by the time i get to the next line i will remember. i know daily show was a train wreck last night. not only was it unfunny but the crowd was so dead that it made me uncomfortable. the actress that was on was just dreadful. she was schilling "the perfect score" and couldn't come up with ANYTHING decent to say about the movie. I wonder why. If you've seen the previews, you know this movie has a chance at beating the rapping kangaroo as the worst movie of all time. Really, it looks like a poorly done mtv movie. Every cliche is represented: the jock, the pothead, the smart girl, etc etc etc. and each one's reason for wanting to steal the exam is equally cliched. i really don't get how this movie is going to "flow". so far i've seen four or five characters' reasons for wanting to steal it. what are they going to do? run through all the reasons in the first hour and then "the hilarity ensues"? This movie is going to be bad, real bad.

On the other hand, with a solid block of: chapelle show, daily show, ali g, and something else i think, I can almost say that the level of comedy on television is on the rise. These shows aren't just tolerable, but downright funny. Maybe not on the level of the comedians that grace new brunswick, but still.

Knicks? i want to root for them, but if i do, does that mean that i'm giving dolan exactly what he wants? i don't want to root for "buzz" or "a playoff team". I want a title. and this team, despite all it's hype, is not a championship team. and wont be for awhile. and it's looks less and less likely that they will ever be able to pull themselves out of the salary cap abyss.

finally, i think i want to write a mini rant on not being able to sleep. even though that i've found keeping the tv on has saved me HOURS on first falling asleep at night, i still can't get through more than a few hours w/o waking up. It's a crippling "illness" that I don't think people can appreciate. but this rant deserves it's own post.

that is all.

espn poll says it all  


which eastern conference team has the best chance at winning the title: hornets, nets, pistons, pacers.

i read an article today that said the knicks should make the playoffs b/c they have the 5th most talented roster in the east. think about that. why is everyone getting excited? if they played as they are supposedly capable of playing, they should be a 5th seed and lose in the first round. but, they already started in the hole, so they are going to have to over achieve just to get there. then, do you really expect them to get an upset in three series to make it to the finals? when they don't even have home court advantage. and let's not forget that the first round is 7 games and not 5, so it's less likely for an upset. and why are the knicks even wasting their time for this year? the west is too strong, and will be too strong for the next three years. they should be planning for the future, not selling out now for a CHANCE at making the playoffs.

oh my god, everything on this page is just wrong  




a good quote about kenny rogers  


"Arrested Development may now be the best comedy on network television, but Kenny Rogers probably being the staff ace in Texas for the next 2 years is a good deal funnier."

i forgot the most important one, 5).....  



with a timeout, there is no situation that can arise that will hurt your team. Bulger could have gotten sacked, he could have gotten a penalty for intentional grounding, he could have dumped off a little flare pattern, ANYTHING, and the rams would have still been in great shape. The only reason you don't go for it is that you are worried that you are going to turn the ball over. So, Martz must have thought that there was about a 50% chance of bulger throwing an INT in 2 plays when he KNOWS not to take any chances. Because, really, everyone knows that sudden death overtime is essentially a coin toss (pun intended). Stupid stupid martz. Chris Berman and Tom Jackson ripped him in their recap, thank god. Everyone else (and believe me, i watched every program possible last night to see what people had to say) just mentioned Martz's decision in passing. Like "After they moved the ball, Martz decided to kick the fg and go into OT". Like it was a "win, lose, or tie" situation. No, it was a "win or tie" choice, and he decided to tie. Idiot!

mike martz must be fired  


"I felt like if we could get it into overtime, we would win this game. I was very sure about the decision and don't regret the decision," Martz said.

Martz has never made a decision that he hasn't liked. However, he remains the ONLY coach who not only makes decisions that I disagree with, but decisions that are WITHOUT QUESTION dumb. The above quote is the only mention of the call on espn.com. It's a shame, b/c that should be the entire focus of the game recap.

Down by 11 with little time left, the rams score a td, get the 2 point conversion and then recover the onsides. They move the ball into field goal range, and with over 30 seconds left, get the ball to about the 16 yard line. Martz then decides to let the clock run out, take his final time out, and then kick the game tieing field goal. Appparently, he thought that the "homefield advantage" (there's that theme again) would be enough to pull the rams through in OT. Did he forget that it's sudden death in OT and they could lose the game w/o ever getting the ball?

Here's what martz had going for him with 30 seconds left and on the 16 yard line.

1) enough time to spike the ball, and take 2 shots at the endzone.
2) a RB who NEVER, EVER fumbles.
3) a high powered offense that was
4) moving the ball well to that point.

It's a no brainer that you can, should, and MUST attempt to get in the endzone in that situation. They are close enough where Bulger has the option to just throw the ball in the back of the endzone if nothing is there. What martz is saying by not going for it is that he doesn't trust his team to not turn the ball over.

Even if you were the much better team, you shouldn't play for the tie b/c anything can happen in OT. Carolina almost scored on their opening drive. A stupid delay of game penalty cost them what would have been the game winning field goal. Had that kick counted, i really think that Martz would have been fired this offseason. The problem is that so much happened in OT that his decision at the end of regulation was forgotten. But it shouldn't be. It was the dumbest call I think I've ever seen, and players like Faulk are too smart to tolerate it. The rams (players, that is) did everything possible to win this game, and their coach wouldn't allow it.

I really didn't want Carolina in the nfc championship until Martz made that call. Then I had to root against them. Martz is by far the worst coach I've ever encountered. There have been coaches that have been over their head before, but he is so bad that he's a liability to the team. He takes a great team and makes them medicore. And he's arrogant about it.

I hate him.

small ball, football style  


how come there aren't any "smarts" or saber-metrics guys for football (ok, if there were, they'd have to be called safer-metrics). It drives me crazy when teams get close to the endzone and then kick the fieldgoal. I don't have the stats, but my gut tells me that it would be beneficial to go for it. obviously, a td is worth 2.333 of a fg. Plus, even if you don't get the td, you have the other team pinned down near their own endzone. again, i'd like to see the stats of how often a team in that position is forced to go 3 and out. I have to think it's pretty high, and if that happens, the original team (worded wrong, but you know what i mean) would get the ball nearly in fg range again.

I need a source of good football stats. I need to see the % of time a team can drive and score off a kickoff (average field position around 30 yard line). This would also clear up my argument against sudden death in overtime. i would also like to see the breakdown of the winning percentage of teams who score the most tds in a game and how that compares to the winning percentage of teams who score the most fgs in a game. Call me crazy, but i feel like the TD is to football what the walks and homeruns are to baseball.

That is all.

home field in the playoffs  


i forget the exact numbers, but some "expert" was saying that homefield advantage is even more important in the playoffs the home team wins 70% of the time instead of only 58% of the time in the regular season. Yeah, i guess it does mean more in the playoffs b/c you know, teams have heart and stuff. i guess that change in % has nothing to do with the fact that the teams with the better records (and thus probably "better" teams) get the homefield advantage. not to mention that they get an extra week off too. no, that can't be it. it has to be about "heart" and being "pumped up".

The New Real World  


50% of the reason for this blog was to rant on real worlds. And, this season already started off with a bang. That "bang" was my foot hitting metal. Yes, that's right, i was ranting about how they all run around and scream for the first episode. I acted this out for my sister, and proceeded to bang my foot hard on something. Ten minutes later, and it still hurts.

stay tuned.



i CAN'T BELIEVE that everyone is defending this knicks trade. Espn.com, the local news, and even PTI thinks this is a good move by thomas. Big does not mean good. "shaking the team up" doesn't really do anything if you are making your team worse. As a blurb in the espn.com article, they say one gm said "the knicks have completely given up their future, so i hope they are happy with the team they now have." that's really bad. hardaway will be making the MAX and coming off the bench (if he plays at all). lampe was the one good pick they've had in years. gone. that pg of the future? gone. and for what? are the knicks going to make a title run this year? no. as the experts agree, this trade was made b/c the knicks aren't even selling out. and making the playoffs (as an eight seed) will "put them back on the map"

and so it goes.

messed up dream  


i don't have the energy to type it out, so i'll just paste what i IM'd someone as soon as i woke up.

KroFatigue: i just had the funniest nightmare

KroFatigue: for some reason i was joey tribbione (sp)
KroFatigue: and i was dating an OLD lady in a wheel chair and old person's home
KroFatigue: and one person from the old person's home was trying to break up us......was jealous or something......so they had a meeting, and i had to defend my case
KroFatigue: and during the course of this meeting, i was asked to stay after with the head of the home and the person who was against me
KroFatigue: and the person who was against me started getting a creepy voice
KroFatigue: and i start ranting about how much i like my wheelchair girl and how this place doesnt care about living lives.....it's like it's the house of the undead
KroFatigue: and then the person's blue eyes get milky white for just a second
KroFatigue: and i notice that and mention it
KroFatigue: and then the head person's eyes get milky white too
KroFatigue: just for a second
KroFatigue: and then they come after me like they are undead zombies and attack me
KroFatigue: like the meeting was just a sham to get me trapped at that place
KroFatigue: and they feed off of me
KroFatigue: the weirdest part was that when i make the "oh, this is like the house of the undead" comment, it was like an episode of friends where joey would say something, and then the audience laughs as he realizes that it's true

this isn't as bad as it sounds  


it's worse.

here's the link  



Tommy Westphall's Mind  


While I was watching Homicide: Life on the Street on DVD, i began to remember how much of a crossover there was among characters. They often interacted with Law and Order, and there were characters from the old st. Elswhere and whatnot. Dectective Munch is now on Special Victims Unit. So, i did a little research and was blown away by what i found:

Tom Fontana, the mastermind behind St Elswhere (sp), Homicide, and OZ, may or may not be trying to connect every television show in history. St elswhere apparently ended with the revelation that the autistic child on the show actually dreamed up the entire series in his head. And since that show is connected to Homicide through interacting characters, one can assume that homicide is also a dream. And so it goes...

Someone actually took the time to make all the connections of the shows that have been referenced so far. Of course, since i don't have excell on this stupid computer, i can't connect them yet. But, i find the theory facinating. Here's to you, tommy Westphall, you brilliant little retard.