new test

attention, high alert!!!  


I just wanted to thank faux news for having a "terror alert: high" tag on their channel 24/7. I feel as though people really need to be reminded to be afraid and paranoid. What exactly a regular person is supposed to do differently with this alert is beyond me. And i know there will be critics that say that faux news is doing this b/c they are politically to the right and that they feed off of such paranoia. To those critics, i retort with....uh...takes one to know one. swish!

this is good from the onion:

Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
After years of resistance, you will be forced to admit that a strong centralized government that relies on popular hatred of a common enemy is a flawed concept that can't work in the long run.

and finally, to that comment telling me to leave the country. I'll assume it's from tuna. If it isn't, then my retort is simply this: if everyone who had a problem with this country at one time or an other actually left, there would be no: women, blacks, irish, italians, gays, anti-war people, etc. etc. etc. The irony of a "patriot" telling people who have problems with the status quo to leave is not lost on me.

stop with the political commentary ESPN  


not once, but TWICE today espn announcers have taken digs at France. Just now, Chris Berman is going over the highlights of the year and one of them was Lance winning the 5th Tour in a row.

"And it was definitely something to hear OUR national anthem playing in the streets of Paris."

God i hate this country.

the evil-est empire  


how come espn.com is running an article on the "ticket probe" regarding the yankees, yet i don't think they EVER mentioned anything regarding what the cubs did? Clearly, the cubs are more evil, yet b/c it's the yankees, they get more press.

video game stuff  


Ok, first of all, i thought the thanksgiving obsession with the video game channel was just a fad. But, i've been home for almost a week now, and i gotta tell you, this is the greatest channel of all time. i can't get enough of it. it's one of those channels that if nothing else is on you can just flip to and know you will be entertained. after watching 15 minutes of one game, i feel like i've played it myself and gotten all i can out of it.

i made the mistake of thinking i could handle some of these fancy games. so i borrowed medal of honor from my cousin. huge mistake. it's set in world war II and the concept is amazing. but, after 15 minutes of playing i litterally got so naucious that i had to stop. it uses both "sticks" on the game cube controller. one does the movement and the other does the looking/aiming. so you are constantly trying to move both of them if you want to do something simple like go around a corner. if you move w/o looking, all you do is straffe. i think that's stupid (and in fact i THINK you can change it to one stick, but i'm not sure). it made for a lot of dizzying spinning when i was playing.

i gotta say though, i'm seriously thinking putting some effort back into video games. maybe it's time i move away from JUST ea sports games.

note to self  


things i need to rant on: the video game channel, the can of mountain dew in "yes dear", and the boring lord of the rings.

my head hurts  


I read recently that the ancient Egyptians thought that their thoughts came from their hearts and not their brains. In fact, they knew of no good use for the brain and would routinely chuck it out when they were embalming the body (or do they call it mumifying?). Anyway, I was trying to think if, had i not been exposed to the "truth", would I know that the brain is the center of thoughts. On the plus side, when i "think" i feel myself looking inside my head. Not just with my eyes rolling back, but i really envision searching my brain. Similarly, if i think too much, my head hurts. When i need to concentrate, I hold my heat, not grasp at my chest (that's reserved for when i eat a 2 dollar sub).

But, all of this "evidence" is presented with the knowledge that I'm already biased on the issue. As much as Maria thinks it's capable to intentionally unlearn something, I can't see myself being objective enough. I KNOW what the brain does and I can't forget that. So, is this an impossible question to ask? Short of isolating a person on an island for his whole life and then asking him "where" he thinks, I don't know how you can answer this.

It just makes you think about whether it's EVER possible to be objective.

Survivor drives me crazy.  


I was shocked to find myself rooting for johnny fairplay in the final four. Maybe that was just a matter of my two favorite words: De Fault. But I was so sick and tired of the Boyscout Lilly at the end. Seriously, I just can't understand why someone would get so emotional from a letter from home. Crying non stop and clutching the letters and kissing the host. It's not even 40 days. I dropped a month in Italy and didn't look back. I loved the look of johnny when he rolled his eyes over her dramatics.

what really irks me is that she gets all hardcore about having to make it to the finals "for her kids" and everyone else she cares about. And she goes on and on about how she's had to "play the game" and do things she wouldn't normally do in "real life". I'm sorry, I just don't see the distinction between the game and real life. And, yes, i know full well that reality tv isn't "real" per se. But, the way i see it, 16 people are competing with each other for a limited resource/reward, namely a million dollars. Is this THAT different than "real life". Aren't we all given opportunities in life where we can either look out for ourselves or our fellow man. How/why is it ok to lie and betray people in this "game"? That's not monopoly money as a reward. Their justifications are so lame: it's a game, everyone else is doing it, this isn't real life. The "game" is just a hyper version of real life. There is competition in real life for "rewards", it just takes longer than 39 days.

And what really stuck in my craw (is that the phrase?), is that she didn't have the heart to go all the way with it. If she had picked johnny fair play for the final, she would have won the million dollars. But she picked sandra b/c she respected her and blah blah blah. So which is it Lilly? Do you care about your family enough to compromise what you believe in to win a game? or are you a pushover? She blew it, and now has neither her integrity or a million dollars. Enjoy your boyscout troop.

And that really should be a whole other rant. She's just a little too into this boyscout thing. It's all she ever talked about. She'd even salute people and recite the code. How is this any different than trekkies? What a nutjob.

And finally, i'd like to comment on how awkward it was to watch the three finalists say their little pieces to the torches of the eliminted people. I mean, i understand that these people are asked to do things strictly for television purposes, but can you imagine being asked to talk to a stick? "yeah rupert, you were a great person and i enjoyed your company". TO A STICK?!? Ok, maybe this game isn't real.

only a sucker pays 2 dollars for a sub  


Mr. Roborto likes me so much and i'm such a valued customer that he hooked me up with a vip card tonight. Now, for every 5 bucks i spend i get a dollar off. That's right my friends. I can now get 3 subs for the low low price of 5 bucks. Can you dig it, sucka?



So, i was reading the onion at school and came across a GREAT horoscope that i wanted to paste here. but i obviously don't want this site getting out at school, so i didn't go to the site. Now, i get home and read chris' profile. This is just creepy:

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Make the world a better place this week. To do the job right, just make sure the pistol is aimed at the roof of your mouth.
(There you go Dennis, disturbing AND funny)

Stop crying, USC  


As someone who is in 2012 and will probably AGAIN not be in the championship game, I feel for USC. However, to complain that the bcs system doesn't work because the "number 1 team" isn't in it is ridiculous.

If the college system wanted to pit #1 against #2 automatically, they could have. However, there were flaws in the old system of rankings. Just because the media and/or coaches "think" that usc is #1 doesn't make it so. Everyone is making a big deal about how computers can't account for all the little things that go into figuring out who is #1. I entirely disagree.

Human decision doesn't really differ than computer calculations. At their core, both computers and humans factor in numerous things and come up with a conclusion. The only real difference is that humans are ineffective at it.

What goes into a coach's decision when voting on the rankings of a team? Is he going by team color? No, he's obviously looking at several things including obviously record, strength of schedule, how the team looked in those games, etc etc etc. The problem lies in that there is no exact calculation as to what each factor gets. It's much like how steve knew ahman green was going to be good b/c he "felt it in his bones."

Did any coach/media watch every minute of usc or lsu's season? do they really know anything about the strength of schedule. It really bothered me when the USC coach said "the outcome of the norte dame vs. syracuse game shouldn't influence the title picture." uh, why not? Sure, if you look at that one particular game, it's a little startling that the "outcome" hinged on those teams. But obviously, the strength of schedule MUST have some influence. Isn't it more impressive to beat a good team than a weak team. All that last game did was determine that Norte Dame was a little worse than originally thought and thus USC beating them was a little less impressive.

The inherent problem with college football is obviously that there are too many teams to conclusively determine anything about who the "better" team is. I don't think college basketball has the same problem b/c they've created a tournament where "anything can happen." College football fans delude themselves into THINKING that they can determine who the best team is. That's their ultimate fallacy. how many "real" games did usc have this year? 3? 5? And we are supposed to know if they are better than another team who've they haven't even played once? It's impossible.

So, instead of a back room where a bunch of old men smoking cigars can "conclude" that team A is better than team B, a system was created that attempted to objectively rate teams. Is this system perfect? Of course not. No system is. There are thousands of things to consider. Unless we are willing to have the top teams play each other hundreds of times, we have to admit that we'll never be able to precisely determine who is better. But to dismiss computers as inaccurate simply b/c you can actually put their criteria on a piece of paper is wrong. Why do we respect the illogical human mind? Would you rather have coaches simply say "dang, jethro, ND is a good team and USC beat them. they must be good."

If you don't like the formula that the computers use, come up with something better. Make it objective and get it implemented. Don't go around and say "see, everyone thinks we are good, so we must be."

"The polls are clear," USC coach Pete Carroll said. "There's not even a question as to who the No. 1 team in the country is."

by that definition, it's "clear" that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction and were behind 9/11.

And ahman green is good.

Vick, overhype, and a "situation" with the subs.  


The overhype surrounding the return of michael vick is disgusting. I expect espn to obviously focus on his return since this game really has no other meaning. But to have a song/chant of "michael vick, michael vick" over and over again like he's some form of cult leader was a little disturbing. I think there's something to be said of broadcasts overhyping athletic athletes (yes, i know those words don't look right together, but it makes sense). NBC went nuts over Vince Carter. Did anyone really think he was the best player in the nba at the time other than them? It's like they are trying to trick us into thinking they are better than what they are. With vick, he's not the best player in the nfl. He's not even the best QB in the nfl. by any stretch. And yet, on every single play, the announcers are flipping out over everything he does. "look at the way he scratched his ass, it's breathtaking." What the hell is going on here? Fine, he's "good" and he does have some ridiculously exciting plays, but this kind of hype should be reserved for the gretsky, jordans, and marino's of the world. Heck, this hype shouldn't be used EVER. It's distracting me from the rest of the game. All they keep talking about is vick vick vick.

Then again, i'm counting on vick scoring 100 points for me this week in fantasy.

as for the subs, we called ahead (way ahead) and they still weren't ready when we got there. How long do you think it takes an otherwise empty pizza place to make three cold subs? If you said 20 minutes, you'd be wrong. Try over 40 minutes. And then they had the nerve to try and charge me an extra dollar b/c i had peperoni added to my italian sub. Well, that's not entirely correct b/c the kid was all "oh, that should be a dollar extra, but i'll only charge you the two" like he's doing me some big favor. I hate when places do that. Bars or whatever. "oh, this one is on the house" or "you ordered 6 shots, but i'm only charging you for 5". Don't do me a favor if you are going to make a big deal about it. Calm down. Next time I wont order your precious peperoni. And how about you tell me it's a buck extra BEFORE i sit there for nearly an hour waiting for it. Jesus, i hate that place.

So, who's up for subs tomm?

Low battery doesn't mean "no battery"  


Perhaps it is you who lacks the common sense? If the phone powers down, it has reached the point where you have discharged it as far as you can, all phones do that. try charging it now.

The problem, as i see it, is that this phone still has SOME energy stored in it. If there was no power then it wouldn't even be able to turn on at all. So why does it have a "program" that says "when the energy is this low, automatically turn it off". Why save that little bit of energy if its unuseable. For all practical purposes, my phone is dead. But its not. It still has some energy in it. Why?

my cell phone lacks common sense  


I've been trying to drain the battery before i recharge it b/c apparently that's what you are supposed to do every once in awhile. Well, this phone shuts off when the batteries are low. Nothing new. Except, when you turn it on, it immediately says low battery and shuts off again. and again. and again. There is NOTHING i can do to keep it on. so, what is the point of saving a little battery if the phone is absolutely, 100% useless. It's counter intuitive and bordering on retarded.

the tale of the 2 dollar sub  


what started as myth soon became legend. Now, it's out of control.

I'm sure you are all now well aware that "Robortos" aka robertos aka rebertos (all three spellings are found somewhere within their establishment) has decided to offer a 2 dollar sub. PJ has run the numbers, and he is "95% confident" (tm, MD) that it would cost that much to make them on our own. So far I've partaking on Monday and today (friday) while PJ already had it three days this week. Two classic quotes from the king of cheap:

1) "i was thinking if i had a 40 and a $2 sub i could say i had dinner and drinks for $3.75"

and then today...

2) "i can see myself becoming addicted to these. [pause] Not because they are 'good' but because they are so cheap."

a close third would be:

3) "if i wrap them up tightly, how long do you think they'd last in the fridge? I'd love to just buy a sack of them and eat them everyday for lunch."

{ok, i added the word "sack" to make it funnier, but the rest is true.}

I'm trying to study for my exams but i can't b/c my fingers still smell like vinegar.

College Liberals  


"If you are under 30 and not liberal, you have no heart. If you are over 30 and still liberal, you have no head." {or something like that, i lost my file of famous quotes with my old hard drive}.

I started, but never got around to finishing, a debate about how the "cool" thing in college was to be liberal. Since I know i didn't make my point clearly, here it goes:

I think the main stigma with being labeled as "liberal" is that it's viewed as being naive and/or overly idealistic. Tree hugging good doers if you will. People who are liberal are dismissed as not taking responsibility and that it's a "phase" that they will grow out of when they enter the real world. And i think this major misconception comes from college where a lot of people practice in fake liberalism.

It's easy to be liberal in college for several reasons. First and foremost, it's basically a 4 year party where you have absolutely no responsibilities. Your parents are practically paying for your beer. It also doesn't hurt that kids experience newfound independence (albeit fake independence that is predicated on financial dependence) or the occasional "philosophy 101" that discusses such "radical" ideas as free will and relativism.

And so, these kids become the stereotypical hippie/liberal and are obsessed with freeing Tibet or mumia. Most don't actually take the time to learn about these issues, but rather get caught up in the whole rebellious nature of it. "look at me, i don't like police". This isn't real liberalism. They don't actually care about making a difference. It's a cliche and such a conforming way to rebel. And then they go and prove everyone right by giving up on this "activism" once they graduate and have to enter corporate America.

The real liberal is not the naive 20 year old that most of America would believe. It's not a dis-en-franchised (i had to sound that one out to even get close) generation x'er who hates everything. It's not the do gooding naive hippie who doesn't realize that 9/11 was a problem. It's the way we've gone about "solving" the problem that is the true cause of concern. In many ways its conservatives who can be viewed at as naive b/c they fail to see that their short term "solutions" are going to have long term consequences.

It really bothers me that liberals are looked down upon in this country. And i'm not talking about those idiots who label liberals as traitors committing treason. I'm talking about the average, moderately intelligent person who just dismisses everything as overly naive. I can't even tell you how many times i've heard people say "we lost 3000 american lives on 911. what would you have us do, NOTHING?".

Liberals are usually lumped into 2 categories. naive hippies or disgruntled bitter people who hate everything. I suppose the latter would be people over 30 who have nothing, while the former is young punks who are going through a "phase".

Whatever happened with Tibet anyway?

ripping cds  


Since i'm going to be locked in my room for the next two weeks studying, i figured its about time to start putting some mp3s back on my computer. While working on my "eminem" folder, i noticed i was missing a song from one of his albums so I ripped it off the original cd. I was AMAZED to learn that when you do this using windows media player, the folder that it goes in actually has the cd cover as the folder picture. that's great! I may have to go back and do that for all my other mp3s. If steve ever finds out about this, he may have a huge project on his hands as i'm sure he'll appreciate it.


you can't change the winamp info if you ripped from media player. Horrible!

In my defense  


well, it appears that the blog of cheese has been spreading some hurtful things regarding me. Here's my version of what really happened.

As i was packing up for winter break in my senior year at RU, I came across an xmas card that my mom had sent me. I hadn't gotten around to opening it earlier, but I figured I had a few minutes, so why not. Well, as usual, she put a scratch off lottery ticket in it. I nearly fainted when i got the three xmas trees and won a shocking 10,000.

I couldn't wait to share my joy with my "friends". I immediatley called pj and steve's house where pj gave his usual non emotional "ok". Steve was a little less diplomatic, yelling at me that "you don't deserve that money. Why do good things happen to you? That money should be mine" or something to that affect.

Dismayed by their lack of support, i went to the next name on my speedial. And while my cousin wasn't home i left a voice mail that captured my emotion and excitement.

After my heart returned to it's normal rate (which is twice that of a healthy person), I looked at the back to see how i was going to go about claiming my prize. Little by little, the comments on the back made me suspect something was afoot. "chances of winning 100-100. actual value of ticket: a good laugh". Oh I had been had alright, and i was not pleased.

The car ride home was interesting as my mother kept asking me about the xmas card and i wouldn't take the bait. I finally flipped out and she couldn't stop laughing. I would later find out that she told ALL her friends the next week and they too laughed at my buffoonery (ok, i know my spelling is horrible, but i'm getting too angry to try and get that right. Actually, now's a good time to note that i will NEVER attempt to fix the spelling in this blog. while i know poor spelling makes me look ignorant, i think it adds nicely to the madness).

I have long repressed this event as the embarassment is too much to handle. However, SOMEHOW Tuna was able to find this voice mail and is using it against me. That's a low blow, and i'll have my vengence, in this life or the next. You crossed a line today, and i'll never forgive you for getting a laugh at my expense. I, for one, would never tease a friend or joke about something embarassing. I swear.

Well played, tuna, well played.

I changed to squawkbox.tv  


for my comments. Tuna, don't think i'm censuring you, i just think this service is better. You will have plenty of time to post your ignorant comments.



For YEARS i was jealous of steve because when he double clicked on an mp3 it would put it at the bottom of his winamp playlist, but when i double clicked on an mp3 it would create a new (one song) playlist. We couldn't figure out what was different. We went step by step clicking and unclickling each and ever option on our respective options to see what would change it. Nothing worked. However, a month or so ago, i took a look at the ONE option that i never checked. I had dismissed "enqueue" as "well, that has to just be the spanish word for "play" or whatever". But then i noticed how similar it was to the word "quere" that I've used for online fantasy drafts where drop players you want into that box. So, i gave it a try and wouldn't you know it, i'm an idiot b/c now it works. I realize this happened a while ago, but it's still life altering. It's so great to be listening to songs while picking out other songs by just double clicking. woo hoo, i win. Of course, if i wasn't so retarded in the first place, this problem could have been avoided.

Coke revisited  


Coca-Cola, for shame. What an evil company, pointing out that people often lie and look civilized when in fact they are pigs. Reality, what a concept.

You are missing the point of the commercial. I really don't think that Salma Hayek would agree to represent Coke if they were trying to portray her as a pig who is lieing to look civilized. On the contrary, her role is that of the successful woman. The whole table of powerful people is waiting her return and politely stand when she comes back. It's clearly a power lunch. She's the model of success and beauty. And how does one achieve that level of success? By starving themselves and hiding the "deep dark secret" that women are people too and need to eat. She should be ashamed of herself.

So my school is liberal....  


well, at least that's what ultra conservatives would have you believe. It never ceases to amaze me when intelligent normal people make statements like that. The media, my school, etc. etc. etc. What makes this stuff liberal?

Is it the fact that my school is a catholic school that has a cross in each classroom and masses in the morning?

Or the fact that everyone supports the war? or that i was labeled a "communist" and told "if you don't like it, then leave"

How about the fact that everyone in our school is driven to WANT to work insane hours just so they can make 6 figures. Everyone loves getting dressed up in suits and kissing ass and networking. Is this liberal? Oh i get it, the fact that some people respect the bill of rights makes my school liberal.

anybody who started law school because they "wanted to make a difference" is long gone. What's left are shadows of the people i met 3 years ago. Now, all people want to talk about are the cases they are working on, their career plans, or all the stuff that they are going to buy.

Also, where are the minorities in our school? If the american dream can be reached by anyone who works hard, how come this school is filled entirely with rich white kids?

there's no such thing as "liberal" anymore. at least not in this country.

Leah Must die  


Even in the last episode she had to be anti-CT basically implying he was a dirty old man / rapist. talking trash about him in the hot tub. And then they cut to her saying "i hate that i'm part of the reason that certain people are upset in this house." Ugh. He didn't even go out to dinner with the rest of the group on the last night. I actually feel bad for him.

New Coke Commercial  


I don't know if i missed the beginning, but what I saw was very disturbing. Salma is in the kitchen of a fancy restraunt gorging herself on food and chugging coke. Then she comes back out to her little power lunch group and brushes away the small french thing that is being served saying "i'm watching what I eat." It then flashes back to coke and says "real".

What's the lesson to be learned here? For women, I guess if you want to be considered beautiful, you can't eat in front of people. Oh no, it's much better to binge on your own in the dark when nobody will judge you. And you happen to stick your fingers down your throat afterwards, all the better.

And as a side tangent, let's not forget just unhealthy coke is and how it's a huge contributor to the obsesity epidemic plaguing our nation's children.



I've been tinkering with the idea of a weblog for awhile now. Ideally, steve would have one but I suppose he prefers the pen and paper for his many manifestos. Regardless, after seeing the 11 oclock news on ABC tonight, I felt compelled to write. There was a news segment on the guy who lost both of his legs in the ferry accident. As they were showing the poor kid getting wheeled around in a chair, they slowly but surely continued to focus in on his stumps. It got so bad that they actually cut off his head until JUST the two stumps were on the screen. PJ didn't even notice until i said something. He was focused on the fact that the stumps were different sizes and wrapped in different colored wrappings. While all of that is facinating, i think he missed the bigger picture (pun intended) on the fact that they were ZOOMING IN ON STUMPS.