if there was something that was the antithesis of a "PS", i.e. a message that comes before the script, it would be "shut up!". That trumps all. Rick Sutcliffe needs to shut up during espn broadcasts.

However, the crux of this complaint is that Sutcliffe can be added to list of billions who fail to understand that correlation does not equal causation.

Here's what we know: Arod hit a home run in the first inning against Tim Wakefield. Johnny Damon was on second base when Arod hit the home run. Those two facts are correlated. They both existed at the same time.

Sutcliffe takes that extra step that all good and retarded color commentators make and assess the credit of the home run to Damon being on second base. Damon caused Wakefield to throw a pitch that would automatically be a home run. And what proof does Sutcliffe provide to defend this theory?

Damon is "fast". Damon stole second base. Wakefield looked at Damon. Wakefield even lifted his leg as though he were about to pitch but then turned towards second. He didn't go so far as to actually throw to second, but that must have been because his brain was so overloaded with all the information of DAMON IS ON SECOND BASE.

We can also infer that Sutcliffe wants to credit Damon for the homer, because of two reasons. 1) Even though chicks may dig the long ball, "scrappy" baseball players from "the good old days" hate the home run and LOVE small ball. And there's nothing smaller than a guy standing on second base taking an extra half of step lead.

and 2) it's arod. And arod is a bad person, who occasionally does good things, but only with the help of his teamates.

If someone wanted to do an actual statistical analysis of whether or not fast baserunners "disrupt" a pitcher, I think that would be a wonderfully interesting study. Oh wait, it's already been done, and the evidence shows that it's actually hitters, not pitchers who suffer slightly. This makes logical sense b/c a hitter is going to actually see the runner in his peripheral vision when he should be focusing on the ball, and he has the added pressure of not swinging through a pitch, or hitting a line drive, etc.

Of course, evidence or logic is no match for good old, "get your uniform dirty" small ball. So it's Damon who deserves the credit.

However, even if you take the incorrect theory as true, it's even less true (can something be more than "wrong"?) in Wakefield's case.

Tim Wakefield has been around forever. I'm pretty sure he was still with Pittsburgh when they were a playoff team. Yes, that Pirates team. Just think about how long ago you have to go back for the pirates to be a playoff team. Wakefield has won a world series with the Redsox. He's been in some of the most intense playoff battles in the past decade. He was on the mound when "Aaron F'n Boone" got lucky.

Tim Wakefield has been a Starter, a Closer, a Middle reliever, and back again. And oh yeah, he throws a knuckleball. Now i realize that Sutcliffe has never pitched a baseball in his life, but the thing with a knucleball is that you don't really throw it like a normal pitch. You don't have a million little things to worry about in your delivery. You just press the tips of your fingers on the ball and let it fly.

A knuckle ball pitcher really doesn't have "control" of the ball like a regular pitcher. You aren't aiming for the outside corner. The beauty and the curse of the knuckle ball is that it has a mind of its own.

So, with all that being said, HOW IN THE HECK CAN JOHNNY DAMON CONTROL THE PITCH FROM 2ND BASE??

The pitch that Arod crushed hung up high. Knuckle balls do that from time to time. If it was easy to pitch a knuckle ball, everyone would do it.