I haven't really followed Late Night television since college, but the Late Night Wars have caught my interest. And by caught my interest, I of course mean that I am obsessed and will read any and all articles on the subject. Color me surprised, then, when I learned that David Letterman was poking fun at Carson Daly and his 1:30 AM show. First, I didn't know even know there was a 1:30 AM show. More importantly, though, was the fact that the articles were portraying Carson Daly as a whipping boy of Late Night and not to be taken seriously. I wondered how this could be possible, considering how successful a career he had had since hosting American Idol.

It wasn't until listening Stern review the New Year Eve's shows that I started to put the pieces together. After bashing Dick Clark's Rocking New Year's Eve*, with Ryan Seacrest, he then went into Carson Daly being apart of a different broadcast. Suddenly I was transported into the last scene of Usual Suspects where the detective realizes that the witness was Keyer Soze. Except in this case, my horrifying discovery was that Ryan Seacrest and Carson Daly were two people.

Did you know that Ryan Seacrest and Carson Daly are not the same person? Because I didn't. I mean, not really. I've heard of both names, of course, but for some reason I combined them into one super[annoying] celebrity. I pictured a career path where a no-talent hack started on TRL, and then moved onto American Idol, where he continued to lack talent. And because he excelled at saying "Welcome to American Idol", this Carson Seacrest fellow branched out into many other lucrative gigs.

The world is twice as annoying now that there are two Carson Seacrests walking around. These people are rewarded for mediocrity. They do not have talent, and are slowly taking over all of television. They are dangerous, and they are multiplying!

*[sidenote: Dick Clack does the exact same shtick every year for New Years. Dick teases Ryan for not having to endure bad weather, then says the EXACT same lines about wishing everyone a happy new year from the bottom of his heart. You can't really appreciate how unoriginal it is until you hear clips from the past three years all in a row]