Not since Michael Jordan told me what shoes to wear and what burger to eat has a spokesman so captured my attention. A whole generation is going to grow up wanting to be like Eugene.

For those of you who don't get these Horizion/New Jersey commercials, this one is definitely a head turner. Literally. Because every time it comes on, I turn my head from my computer and think "what is that god awful sound coming from my tv?"

With a speech pattern eerily similar to Mitch from a Mighty Wind,

[Go to 2:09 in the Trailer here]:

Eugene is able to bring the universe to a screeching, creepy hault. Is he so in love with the sound of his own voice that he needs to p a u s e between each syllable?

And the absolute best part of the commercial is when he uses the word sagacity. What portion of the people watching this Mets' game is going to know what that word means, Eugene? He even does a little cocky grin before he says it. But don't take my word for it, see for yourself