someone had to go and steal my thunder. this post is awesome

if i had to choose one man to pitch a game to save michael kay's life, i would take lt. daniel kaffee every day of the week and twice on sunday.

Michael Kay: You want answers?

Lt. Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to them.

Michael Kay: You want answers?

Lt. Kaffee: I want the truth!

Michael Kay: You can't handle the truth!

Son, we live in a world that has rings. And those rings have to be won by men with heart. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Szymborski? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Athletics and you curse the Yankees. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Billy Beane's shît not working in the playoffs probably saved the game. And my writing and playcalling, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves this game...

You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about on nerd forums, you want me on the radio. You need me on the radio.

We use words like intangibles, mystique, aura...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent winning something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the pennants of the glorious franchise I promote, then questions the manner in which I promote it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and play the game. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

Lt. Kaffee: Are you a snivelling Yankee homer?

Michael Kay: I did the job they pay me to do.

Lt. Kaffee: Are you a snivelling Yankee homer?

Michael Kay: You're goddamn right I am!!