I know Steve claims that I lead an awkward existence, but I’m convinced that the awkwardness finds me. I had a nice little morning planned: I was going to wake up early and go food shopping and then get some fresh bread at Calandras. I was thinking about stopping at Bed Bath and Beyond too, but didn’t know if I’d have time. Anyway, the roads were completely empty and I felt alone in the universe (in the good way). I had a fortress of solitude between my headphones and hooded jacket. I get a coffee at DD and decide to drink it outside before I continue walking (I’m incapable of drinking and walking at the same time as pregaming at concerts has proven).
I’m lost inside a SOAD song when I notice a cop is pulling over to right where I’m standing. I look around, and there is no one anywhere close around me. I assume he’s going in for coffee, but he doesn’t get out of his car. Now I’m a little nervous. Could this be considered loitering? Am I not allowed to drink coffee outside of DD? Ok, technically I’m a few stores over from DD, but that was just b/c I didn’t want to be standing there with other people walking in and out of the store (shoot, maybe I DID bring this awkwardness upon myself).
Anyway, now I’m standing there with a cop car two feet from me. Like Han Solo tells Chewbacca (wow! Chewbacca doesn’t create a red line under it in Word. Man, I wish I could remember the “legal” word that is very common but still not in spell check. I should be offended that a commercial/entertainment word like Chewbacca is in their database), I want to keep my distance, but not look like I’m keeping my distance. So, I make a big production out of putting my coffee down and buttoning up my hood. Now, I have no peripheral vision or ability to hear. If the cop is going to try and get my attention, I’m screwed.
So, after I think I’ve spent enough time “preparing” to leave, I duck my head down to look into his window. With the glare, I couldn’t tell if he was looking at me or not. I looked just a little too long into his window, and since I didn’t make eye contact (at least I don’t think I did), I couldn’t even give a head nod. At this point, I’m resided (word?) to the fact that I’ve completely blown this interaction with the cop and now he’s going to have it out for me. I feel completely awkward, and decide to just make a break for it.
I get out into the parking lot, and OF COURSE a car starts coming. So, being no more than 3 steps away from the cop car, I have to start running. My back is to the cop, and I’m running for my life. I can’t hear or see, so for all I know he’s telling me to stop, or thinks I’m black and is already drawing his gun to shoot me. [it’s obvious that comment is a knock on the police and not a racist statement, right?].
Take a guess how this story ends? Of course I slip and almost kill myself. I swear, I’m the king of the “start to slip and fall and somehow catch myself at the last second”. It’s
