my own "Knicks in 60"  


So i'm this close to starting to get back into watching the Knicks. And last night, I think I perfected the art of watching a Knicks game in 2007/2008.

Watch the pregame. It's amusing to see the announcers put a positive spin on what's been going on in the past week or so and how they speak positively at the chances of this game. Then, when the game starts, go watch something on your DVR. Come back in in the early third quarter. This will be right around the time where the 10 point deficit balloons into 17. Sure, you will have missed the fans booing at halftime, but you'll get the most important boos of the night....the rage filled boos. mmmm, delicious.

Stick around for the rest of the third quarter and the early fourth. This is when the announcers will start to admit that things are not right with the Knicks. In the middle of fourth, keep the game on in the background, but do something else. Me? I like to wash dishes. I just don't have the stomach to watch mid-fourth-quarter timeouts where Isiah has NOTHING to say to the team. He's calling those time outs out of obligation. Last night I made the mistake of glancing over at the TV and he was actually doing that awkward "swing my arms from side to side and then clap in the front b/c my back is getting stiff waiting for this bus."

Now, when the game is right about to end, pull up a seat and get comfortable. You'll hear comments such as "lowest point in Knicks' franchise history" "loudest boos of the season" and the like. The announcers have to kick it to the sideline guys who kick it to the studio guy and each time the transitions are so deliciously awkward. "let's send it back to that WWF guy for HIGHLIGHTS". Highlights?

Now, for la creme de la creme....Isiah's post game interview.

I don't know if they always did this, but I particularly enjoy the little text underneath his face that says "Isiah Thomas' post game interview following the 105-77 loss to Philadelphia". Kind of drives the point home.

First question: blah blah blah What do the Knicks need to do differently?

There's clearly only one answer to this....and it's not Zeke's "well, we need to move the ball better, and we need to make sharper cuts off of screens". What?!?!? How about TRYING. If the players TRIED, that might make them better. The only honest answer would be this:

"Listen, first of all, we would need to construct a competitive roster. But that ship has sailed. However, we could probably achieve mediocrity if the players started to try. Because it's 100% impossible to win a game if you aren't trying. Of course, the caveat to that is that I can't make the players try. The reason they are not trying is because they don't respect me. Any efforts to right this ship are futile, because I have lost the players' respect. Can you believe Dolan isn't firing me?"

I don't understand how Isiah can get through a practice anymore. Can you imagine trying to work on little things like a new play, or free throw shooting when you KNOW the players aren't going to try during the actual game. I bet Isiah has to be all humble when asks Marbury to do something in practice.

"um, excuse me, Mr. Marbury..."
"what do you want, punk?"
"um, I was just wondering, if maybe, um, it could be possible for you to stand over here so we can try to run this play".
"hahaha....Yo, Randolph, get a load of this guy. He just asked me to do something. Hahah, what a fool".

In other words, I have to assume Knick practices are like the scenes in those cliched "inner city public school" movies where the new teacher doesn't have the respect of the room yet. Of course, in the Knicks' case, there is no 2nd or 3rd act where the teacher wins the class over by "caring" and "relating". Isiah Thomas is no Michelle Pheiffer.

Wow, that went off on a pointless side tangent.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 09, 2007 at Sunday, December 09, 2007 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


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