THE GLASS ISN'T ENTIRELY EMPTY FOR THIS SEASON.
Kronic Fatigue’s first official recruiting process appears to be a success. With their main goal to get faster and more athletic, RU took a big step in the right direction. Blue chipper CB Anthony Baker will help fill the void left by CB#32. Alongside Baker will be another speedy freshman, Jeff Robinson. The addition of two great athletes at the corners will give Kronic numerous options. Expect to see one, if not both, of these guys line up on the offensive side of the ball. Another great addition to the RU squad is left tackle Jason Fritzgerald. This beefy freshman will sure up the offensive line, a problem last year for the Knights. Other, lesser talented freshmen include a pair of defensive tackles and middle linebackers. The one area where RU failed in the recruiting department is at kicker. “Walk on” Wendell Wiley made the team, but looks to have his work cut out for him.
In an interesting turn of events, athletic director Kronic Fatigue decided to schedule all of RU’s non conference games against Ivy League schools. “Let’s be honest, nobody comes to RU as their first choice. This school was the silver medal for a lot of students. And I know that beating the bejesus out of those snobby smart schools that rejected our students will give us great satisfaction. I know that when I was growing up, bullying the eggheads was so much fun. I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.”
Of course, there is always the chance that the Ivy schools will beat RU, sending its students even further into depression. If that’s the case, at least business will be good for the Knight Club and Corner Tavern.
