SPORTS WORLD COLLECTIVELY GASPS IN AWE

In a stunning turn of events, Madden legend "Kronic Fatigue" has decided to leave the safe confines of the NFL and venture into the uncharted realm of college football. It appears that Kronic was so disgusted by "dmbblows" performance running their alma mata, "Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey, for registration information, press one, for grade inquiry, press..." that he had to come back and right the ship.

"It's great to be back" said Kronic, as he was ordering extra hot sauce on his Fat Mr. C with egg (hold the rabbit food). "Hopefully, I'll turn this program around, but I may have to tear it down first...Hey, I said no lettuce!" Kronic is going to have his work cut out for him though, as he's never coached on the college level. In fact, he's only played 3 college games in his entire career, and that was while he was very very drunk. Nevertheless, Kronic's extreme confidence and utter lack of a life will be a deadly combination for RU.

The only thing that can come between Kronic and the championship now is the fact that he doesn't drive and needs his mom to pick up the game for him.